Anne Milton - Guildford MP (and Dipstick)

Anne latest pamphlet is out, and it looks like this weblog has had an impact. As this scan of the back of her latest pamphlet shows (small version below), she's dropped all pretence that these opinions come from your average man in the street.



But there's still someone familiar that catches my eye and takes me back to the March pamphlet. Looking inside this (the April pamphlet, available here in PDF format) we see a woman and child appearing twice. Her face is largely obscured in both photos but that ugly, ugly overcoat is a dead giveaway - it's Katherine, who appeared on the front and back pages of the March pamphlet.



Now, some unkind things have been said about Anne Milton and her propensity to eat small children, but I previously dismissed such claims as facetious nonsense. However, it now appears that Anne has only been able to dig up *one* local citizen willing to bring their child within reach of her mighty jaws. Smoke and fire, people... smoke and fire.

Let's move along to the text, because it contains an interesting development...

For quite some time now, a spirited battle has taken place on the Letters page of our local newspaper between the developer Michel Harper and those who oppose his plans to build a casino. Our MP, Sue Doughty, has been quite vocal about this and has written many letters herself. But has Little Ms Action had anything to say about it one way or the other? No, she has not.

Until now...

Anne Milton's latest pamphlet declares that:

"ANNE takes ACTION on stopping a Casino in Guildford from going ahead"

But to date she's taken no such action. It's taken her this long just to form an *opinion*!

So I think it's worth taking a closer look at her other claims of action, so we can see how they stand up. Please keep in mind that I'm approaching this not as an activist or a representative of the Lib-Dems, I'm just a concerned citizen with a low tolerance for bullshit. If you'd care to add anything under Comments, the floor is open:

ANNE takes ACTION on Recycling and caring for our environment
Why, so she does. Here she is recycling something and here she is picking up litter. Compare these two photo opportunities with this:
Sue Doughty backs doorstep recycling in the commons.
But... let's be fair and allow Labour to claim credit, too. As far as I can tell, every candidate claims to back recycling and other environmentally-friendly initiatives. Unless Anne has actually taken exceptional action that sets her apart, all I see here is 'more of the same'.

ANNE takes ACTION on Protecting green fields
As what? A scarecrow? I direct your attention to the recent Environmental Audit Minutes of Evidence and this input from Sue Doughty.

ANNE takes ACTION on Stopping regional house building targets
Oh, I see. You want to stop building houses in the area, even though it's quite obvious that scrounging illegal immigrants are snapping up all available housing in the area. Makes perfect sense to me

ANNE takes ACTION on Stopping unwanted mobile phone masts
So does Sue Doughty. Another 'Me too!' moment from Anne Milton, ladies and gentlemen.

ANNE takes ACTION on Supporting the new hospital
Yes. She used to a nurse, you know. Next...

ANNE takes ACTION on Preventing the closure of Milford Hospital
Same issue, isn't it? Support new ones, don't close old ones. Let's see what Sue Doughty thinks.

ANNE takes ACTION on Preventing more Post Office Closures
Hmm. You know, this looks like action to me, too:
Post Office Branch Closures Unacceptable says Sue Doughty
Sue Doughty meets with post office for urgent talks on closure

ANNE takes ACTION on Better enforcement of speed limits
Better enforcement? As in more police? I thought they were supposed to be busy eyeballing yobs. Perhaps it's more speed cameras Anne wants. Or moody loners with robot cars.

ANNE takes ACTION on Stopping anti-social behaviour
Ah, yes. The yobs. And quite possibly the only actual action I've seen from Anne Milton so far. Thanks to Tory-bod Mike Chambers we know that Anne Milton helped get a camera in an underpass.

ANNE takes ACTION on Safer streets, safer town, safer villages
See above.

ANNE takes ACTION on Cleaner streets
See above. No, up. Up further. Right at the top. There you go.

ANNE takes ACTION on Saying no to the Guildford Casino
See even further above. Also, what the hell does this mean? Anne Milton takes action on saying no. Not "Anne Milton takes action" or "Anne Milton takes action *by* saying 'no'"... but "Anne Milton takes action *on* saying no". I think it means that she has taken action on saying no by - after months of saying nothing - printing that she says 'no' in this pamphlet. So the sentence that claims she takes action refers to the action taken by printing the sentence itself. Clear?

ANNE takes ACTION on A fairer and lower Council tax
Another victory for Anne 'Me too!' Milton... Sue Doughty - We Need a Fairer Council Tax

ANNE takes ACTION on A better, prompter train service
Yes. To correct the crappy, late services caused by the Tory-led privatisation of rail.

ANNE takes ACTION on Building the new Civic Hall in Guildford
Would that be the Civic Hall in Guildford designed to replace the one that Tory councillors closed despite protests from Lib-Dems?
Lib Dems target council leader over Civic Hall 'fiasco'

ANNE takes ACTION on Saying no to incineration
This, I assume, refers to her opposition to plans for a Guildford incinerator. That originated from the Tory-run Council. Here's Sue again, opposing the last Tory candidate who supported the incinerator... and lost. A jolly good plan of Anne's, then, to come out against it. Even though it was her lot that backed it.

All in all, I'm seeing a lot of bluster, a lot of bull and very little action. But that's nothing new, really.

Still, I was inspired enough to take a little action myself. Anne's past naughtiness with pamphlets left us in a position where we didn't actually know what local people thought of her... so I popped into uk.local.surrey and asked.

What *do* local people think of Anne Milton? Well, from my small online sample, all I have so far is this:

"I think I can honestly say I've never thought of Anne Milton...."

"Who?"

"To be honest - I don't give a toss about Anne Milton or any of her ilk... I'm no New Labour supporter but after 18 years of Tory tripe of ruining our country and turning us into materialistic, money is everything, house price obsessed, damn the disadvantaged nation we appear to have become, I'm sure ain't going to vote the like of Ann Milton into Parliament."

"I might if she's got big tits."

Hm. She happens a great big tit herself. I'm wondering if that counts...

There's also this interesting observation:

"Well, I was in the same room as her once, is that good enough? Seriously, I am fascinated by this complete change in campaigning style. We have been inundated with leaflets and flyers all featuring the smiling and local campaigning Anne Milton and I opened the door the other day to be confronted by a bright young confident gentleman who brightly asked if I was going to vote Conservative. No doubt this is not the last visit. I just find it interesting that Anne Milton seems to be conducting a local campaign that is more Lib-Dem in style than the Lib-Dems do themselves. It also feels like a local council election rather than preparing for a national election and I think that this is unhealthy; a national general election is surely about national policies and what is good for the country rather than the fact that the Conservative candidate tried to save our local Post Office and picks up litter in Gomshall or wherever."

I'd agree with that up to a point (I do like an MP who actually spends time serving their constituents, and MPs that do so deserve credit for that work). The Tories appear to be relying on their recent Council wins while hammering Anne Milton into something that could pass as a rough facsimile of our current MP.

(And they'd probably stand some chance of success if the challenge were set in a room full of mentally-challenged rhesus monkeys. Wait... strike that. Best make it; ' a *darkened* room full of mentally-challenged rhesus monkeys'....)

Labels: inaction, tory ringers