We begin with a familiar feeling...
Independent - How the BNP is gaining ground in Barking with a campaign of lies and distortions:
Well, how about that, then? It would appear that the BNP uses exactly the same tactics that our dear friend Anne Milton used to earn her 347-strong majority.
I'm tempted to stick to this point, but first I must turn my attention to the news.... erm, because there hasn't been any.
Last week the Queen dropped by to visit Guildford. She distributed the Maundy Money at a service in Guildford Cathedral. Then she went on a walkabout in the High Street. Before stopping for lunch at the Guildhall. Basically, she was in town for a while and she rubbed more than one elbow.
Did Amme get her picture in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme get *mentioned* in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme manage to get snapped with the Queen at all? No.
(Note - Even Dennis Paul failed to get a shot off!)
Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. Especially for a born attention-seeker like Anne Milton.
I must admit that when I first read about the visit I had to do some checking to make sure that she turned up in the first place... and perhaps - just perhaps - her failure to turn up to a string of local events (and/or staying for more than two minutes while feigning graciousness) played a role in this under-reporting. I'm not suggesting that it was malicious, only that reporters may have failed to recognise her, having not seen her around for a while.
No matter... with such a slim majority, a distinctly lacklustre first year and recent boundary changes to the constituency, Milton must know by now that her future does not lie with Guildford (if she ever thought of us as something other than a stepping-stone in the first place).
No, Anne's future lies with a career in the Conservatives and...
Sorry, what's that? She's in the what now...?
Guardian - The little blue book: Shortly after "Dave the Chameleon" makes his first appearance on TV tonight, Dave's shadow chancellor will be launching a thinktank pamphlet. These days, George Osborne doesn't turn up to any old Westminster launch. But then Conservative Revival: Blueprint for a Better Britain isn't any old thinktank rant. David Cameron pouts earnestly from the cover of the 170-page handbook, which, in style and content, is the closest the Cameroons have come to a brand manifesto.... The contributing authors were to have included the MPs Justine Greening and Anne Milton. In the end, Philp looked to a younger generation of Tories: Dominic Schofield, Nicky Morgan, Sarah Richardson, Martin McElwee, Robert Halfon and Damian Collins, all of whom failed to gain seats in 2005.
Aw, no... now the Tories won't let poor Anne join in any reindeer games.
I've got two words for you, folks: Old and Busted.
Yes, Anne Milton has been cast aside for the New Hotness... even though all of these alternative candidates failed to lie their way into a seat as Milton has done.
Taking all of these factors into account, and combining it with Anne Milton's flat-out refusal to live anywhere but Tierra del Fuego, I feel compelled to offer Anne the following career advice:
Join the BNP and run in Reigate. You'll feel right at home.
Rose Thomson has lived happily next to the Longbridge Road campus buildings for 30 years. But now she wants to move. She said: "The asylum-seekers are coming. They're taking over. It's not British here any more."
Mrs Thomson, 67, echoed many who live near the complex outside Barking town centre who believe the site, now occupied by the University of East London, will soon be turned into housing for refugees.
It is not true. The campus is earmarked for a regeneration project that includes low-rent housing. But that has not stopped it being circulated on doorsteps on behalf of the British National Party as it tries to polarise opinion and win backing among the 165,000 voters in this docile and traditionally Labour-dominated corner of east London in next month's local elections.
The result is a game of political smoke and mirrors with the far-right party using shady tactics, including the apparent use of unoccupied addresses as candidates' homes, and questionable statistics to boost its support...
Well, how about that, then? It would appear that the BNP uses exactly the same tactics that our dear friend Anne Milton used to earn her 347-strong majority.
I'm tempted to stick to this point, but first I must turn my attention to the news.... erm, because there hasn't been any.
Last week the Queen dropped by to visit Guildford. She distributed the Maundy Money at a service in Guildford Cathedral. Then she went on a walkabout in the High Street. Before stopping for lunch at the Guildhall. Basically, she was in town for a while and she rubbed more than one elbow.
Did Amme get her picture in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme get *mentioned* in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme manage to get snapped with the Queen at all? No.
(Note - Even Dennis Paul failed to get a shot off!)
Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. Especially for a born attention-seeker like Anne Milton.
I must admit that when I first read about the visit I had to do some checking to make sure that she turned up in the first place... and perhaps - just perhaps - her failure to turn up to a string of local events (and/or staying for more than two minutes while feigning graciousness) played a role in this under-reporting. I'm not suggesting that it was malicious, only that reporters may have failed to recognise her, having not seen her around for a while.
No matter... with such a slim majority, a distinctly lacklustre first year and recent boundary changes to the constituency, Milton must know by now that her future does not lie with Guildford (if she ever thought of us as something other than a stepping-stone in the first place).
No, Anne's future lies with a career in the Conservatives and...
Sorry, what's that? She's in the what now...?
Guardian - The little blue book: Shortly after "Dave the Chameleon" makes his first appearance on TV tonight, Dave's shadow chancellor will be launching a thinktank pamphlet. These days, George Osborne doesn't turn up to any old Westminster launch. But then Conservative Revival: Blueprint for a Better Britain isn't any old thinktank rant. David Cameron pouts earnestly from the cover of the 170-page handbook, which, in style and content, is the closest the Cameroons have come to a brand manifesto.... The contributing authors were to have included the MPs Justine Greening and Anne Milton. In the end, Philp looked to a younger generation of Tories: Dominic Schofield, Nicky Morgan, Sarah Richardson, Martin McElwee, Robert Halfon and Damian Collins, all of whom failed to gain seats in 2005.
Aw, no... now the Tories won't let poor Anne join in any reindeer games.
I've got two words for you, folks: Old and Busted.
Yes, Anne Milton has been cast aside for the New Hotness... even though all of these alternative candidates failed to lie their way into a seat as Milton has done.
Taking all of these factors into account, and combining it with Anne Milton's flat-out refusal to live anywhere but Tierra del Fuego, I feel compelled to offer Anne the following career advice:
Join the BNP and run in Reigate. You'll feel right at home.
