Anne Milton - Guildford MP (and Dipstick)

This is what the residents of Bramley are getting in place of the glossy pamphlets of yore:



What you're looking at is a double-sided A3 photocopy. On pink paper.

1. It's rubbish.
2. It's also dangerous. Anyone with access to a computer and photocopier could produce an alternative/parody version inside of an hour.

Labels: the usual rubbish

Guido got in first and the 'news' followed here. Now Private Eye (Issue 1131) gets in on the act:

Labels: turtleneck sweaters

For some strange reason, Anne Milton's pamphlets have stopped arriving at my door. My neighbours all get them, but I don't. I can't imagine why.

Still, my neighbours are kind enough to share, and Anne publishes many of her pamphlets online (if not the ones mentioned on Newsnight that only reach certain areas where more challenging views on immigration are welcome) and one thing keeps returning as a (if not the) major reason why we should vote for Anne Milton:

"25 years a nurse in the NHS"

This same phrase appears verbatim in every bit of literature.

Now Anne herself has said: "I've spent a lot of my working life dealing with housing issues" - but you shouldn’t let this throw you off. For some time, Anne was working part-time as a nurse and two days a week with a housing association. And then she was a councillor for a bit. But she was still "25 years a nurse in the NHS" as far as we know, and no-one can take that away from her.

However...

Those who are familiar with Anne know that she never, *ever* passes up a chance to big-note herself. So why no mention of being a Senior Nurse or Matron? Could it be that the strapline may just as well read; "25 years a private in the British Army"?

(Important: Nurses and soldiers do good and important work. As a long-time viewer of M*A*S*H, I know this to be true.)

Labels: the usual rubbish

I call upon you to witness the latest pamphlet from Anne Milton, which clearly shows how very, very local she is (you can see the original pamphlet in PDF format here).

Why, all it takes is a glance to tell you that the other leading candidates are Outsiders:



Anne is no stranger to Surrey... and no stranger to hardship, either.

A reader pointed me in the direction of the property listed as her official place of residence on her application form. It's a one-bedroom flat in the north-east of Guildford.

That's one bedroom, folks. One bedroom to service Anne, her husband Graham, and the four griglets; Charles, David, Nicola and Andrew.



Now, Charles is 20 and studying, so he may not be staying there... but that's still two adults and three children under 18 getting by in one small flat.

It's a good thing that young Andrew is so fond of his Gameboy, as there's no back yard to speak of and a bulky Playstation and/or television would eat up valuable space required for the camp stove (that they no doubt huddle around for warmth as they heat their last can of cut-price beans).

Take a look at the sacrifices Anne Milton is prepared to make for you, people of Guildford. And never forget that she is very local.

Hell, if she used the technique above to show how un-local I am, she would need a much, much bigger map. True, I've lived here for 7 years and even own a hamster that has lived in Guildford longer than she has, but he and I have the luxury of a much larger living space.

(PS - I talked to a nice lady who lives across the street, and she told me that she had never seen Anne or even heard of her. But she also told me that people on this street "don't talk to each other much"... and you all know what that means, don't you? Yes, it means that Anne is doing her best to fit in.)

Labels: 'local'

On Tuesday, April 19th 2005, Anne Milton used her opportunity to address a public meeting at Guildford Baptist Church to make a deeply moving statement of faith.

I would remind Anne that Leviticus 19:11-12 reads as follows:

Do not lie.
Do not deceive one another.
Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God.

During this campaign, Anne has lied. During this campaign, Anne has sought to deceive (1, 2, 3, 4).

And now, as part of her campaign, she has sworn falsely by the name of her God.

Labels: the usual rubbish

Once upon a time, there was a little girl by the name of Anne Turner. She played with the usual toys and grew up with a lust for power that is common in most children.

When she came of age, Anne married Neil Milton and took his name (which was the style at the time).

Sadly, the all-too-common spectre of marital discord cast a shadow over their happy union. Divorce was the result.

There are no records to indicate if Anne got the house or the car, but she did keep the name.

Not too long after this, an older and wiser Anne found happiness in the arms of Graham Henderson, who is described in her literature as; "Graham, a doctor"...

Graham is actually more of a consultant than a doctor, but the most curious thing to me appears to be that the 'Henderson' name isn't mentioned and Anne doesn't go by the name 'Anne Henderson' but 'Anne Milton'. Why?

It's not as if his name is Graham Scabcock or anything like that.

Perhaps Anne merely wished to keep the name from her previous marriage for personal reasons. Perhaps she didn't wish to be confused with the Anne Henderson who ran for local office in Bradford and West Yorkshire.

Personally, I think she should have jumped at the chance to go by the name 'Henderson'. Thanks to the lovely Florence, this name is associated with caring, loving, God-fearing mother-types that don't eat babies. Ever. Unless they're really, really hungry and Alice is all out of meatloaf.

Labels: the usual rubbish

Independent - Tory candidates in marginal seats stir up storm by playing race card: Conservative candidates in marginal seats across Britain are raising fears about the impact of immigration and asylum on council tax, schools and hospitals to swing the populist vote behind the Tories. A survey by The Independent reveals Tory candidates from the south coast to the Scottish Highlands are playing the immigration card to win over undecided voters dissatisfied with Labour.

So it's not just us, then. This other piece is not only funny, it plugs right into the nothingness of Milton's network...

Independent - Conservatives use 'cheap' migrant leafleters: Eastern European migrants allegedly earning less than the legal minimum wage are delivering Conservative Party leaflets in a key marginal constituency... Geoff Martin, a union organiser in south-west London, said the situation exposed the "rank hypocrisy" of the Conservative Party. "There they are, campaigning against immigration and the only way they can get election literature distributed is through an agency employing eastern Europeans, potentially earning less than the national minimum wage. The fact that they can't deliver their own literature, says a lot for the Conservative Party today. "

Labels: racism

Today, captured Imperial officer Anne Milton claimed to be a long-time supporter of the Rebellion.

"I was angry and upset about the destruction of Alderaan from the very beginning," protested Milton, "It is a tragedy that must never be repeated."

The long-time servant of the Empire also claimed to have deliberately engineered the fleet's appearance out of Hyperspace close enough to the Hoth system for the Rebels to be alerted to their presence.

Milton is "confident" that she will be cleared of any wrong-doing, and hopes to run against Mon Mothma for the supreme leadership of the Rebel Alliance as soon as her trial is over.



File photo: Anne Milton at a recent promotion ceremony (from an intercepted Imperial transmission)

Labels: middle east

I'm in a bit of a hurry this morning, so I'll have to provide details later.

Some important things about last night's public meeting in Guidlford:

I was rude and I was wrong. Oh, and Anne Milton lied. Again.

The people in charge of the meeting clearly tried to keep Iraq off the agenda and then lied about it (they claimed that no-one submitted a question on it, but at least 6 people expressed surprise at this, claiming that they had). That's the bit where I was forced to break with protocol and insist that candidate's views be heard. It was rude, but I was at a public meeting and many others shared my wish to hear those views.

Now, to Milton's answer:

In much the same way that Anne Milton claims to be against a Guildford incinerator (which was a Tory initiative) she now claims that she was angry about the Iraq war and against it all along. I was forced to interject again. I did so, and pointed out that her party backed it 100%. That's the bit where I was wrong. It's more like 99%, but I'll get to that in a moment...

Anne claimed that there were 'many' Conservative MPs who voted against the war, and that simply isn't true. She included as an example Humfrey Malins, the former MP for Woking. Also not true.

Like 39 other Conservative MPs, Humfrey Malins voted 'yes' in Division 117 (where MPs voted for or against an amendment saying that the case for war was not yet proven). But - like many of the 'rebel' Tory MPs - on the crucial vote in Division 118 (where they were asked to approve a motion enabling the UK to take 'all means necessary' to disarm Saddam of the WMDs that didn't exist) he abstained.

I can only find 2 Conservative MPs who voted 'no' on Division 118; Douglas Hogg and John Randall.

Compare this with 52 Lib-Dems who voted ‘no’ and 85 Labour MPs who voted 'no'.

Anne Milton is a woman who will jump on any popular cause in order to further her own. Her claim that she was against the war all along cannot be taken at face value.

Labels: middle east

Ooh, look! We filtered into the mainstream yesterday!

The Times - A strange case of espionage and warfare inside the commuter belt: A blogger has been having great fun outing party activists who are featured on Mrs Milton's leaflets as local people. "Politicians have to be very careful in this day and age," she said and muttered opaquely that it was possible to use a photograph inadvertently. "I'm not going to talk about this blogger. He's an angry young man."

Here I get to compare Anne Milton - quite fairly, I would think - to George W. Bush.

Y'see, a common tactic used by neo-cons in the US is to define those who oppose the many questionable actions and agendas of the Bush administration as 'Bush Haters'.

Why? because an angry man does not think straight. His mind is clouded to reason.

And Anne Milton has sought to fit me up as an angry young man since we first 'met'.

But it's just not the case, I'm sorry. It's just another example of Anne's reliance on misdirection and bulldust.

Sure, reading stuff like this makes me angry, but when I sit down to blog, my mind is clear and my face has two options:

1) The Mild Smirk
2) The Grin of a Loon

Perhaps Anne can begin working on the 'mentally unstable' angle. Blair makes good use of this to target ex-cabinet members who oppose his many sane initiatives. People like the 'somewhat peculiar' Robin Cook and that 'rather unstable' woman, Clare Short.

Labels: the usual rubbish

As I blogged this afternoon, today I popped along to the University of Surrey at the last minute, as I'd heard there were going to be some Miltonites trying to hijack/disrupt an appearance by Charles Kennedy.

I must say, I was greatly disappointed.

Here's our crew of young Tories, ignoring the first two rules of Activist Infiltration, which are as follows:

Activist Infiltration Rule #1 - Don't *be* a crowd, *join* the crowd.

Activist Infiltration Rule #2 – At least *try* to look like you belong.



If they'd spent a little more time with soap dodgers, they would know this. But they haven't done, didn't know, and were pegged from the start as a result.

So when it started raining and everybody else took shelter, they weren't able to use this as an excuse to join the group, mingle and make connections (which would have been pretty hard with the large signs they were carrying, anyway). Here they are getting moved on from a nearby bus shelter by a mean security guard.



Activist Infiltration Rule #3 - When *asked* if you belong, be ready with an immediate (and disarmingly naive) answer in the affirmative.

Activist Infiltration Rule #4 - Always have a detailed story in reserve, and only offer the full version if asked.

FFS, they didn't even claim to be waiting for a bus... so they had to go and stand in the rain, the poor dears.

Still, eventually the sun came out and they adorned themselves with their Fear of Crime message (which I just happened to blog about earlier today). That wasn't the only element of synchronicity today, BTW; Charles Kennedy's appearance here focused on the role of nurses in battling MRSA, but let's get back to that bit where voting for the local Lib-Dem will result in you being murdered in your bed...



Here's a lovely variation of the poster the Miltonites were carrying. Their posters read "A vote for your local Lib-Dem is a vote for this":



Note how the shadow from Kennedy's nose makes him look like Hitler (as spotted by Mark and provided here by Stuff and Nonsense). Clever stuff, huh? Beats all hell out of evil eyes. If you can swing a good resemblance to Hitler and make it subliminal, you've got it made.

Anyway, Adolf Hilter Charles Kennedy finally arrived about an hour late (insert predictable joke about stopping at the offy here). Here's a picture of the main Battle Bus in front of the distinctive Duke of Kent Building:



Before he arrived, I got a chance to meet with many of the Sue Doughty supporters (who outnumbered the Miltonites easily by 12 to 1), and even some of her team members. Unsurprisingly, quite a few of them are fans of this weblog.

(waves 'hello' to Lib-Dem peeps)

We had a nice chat about this and that. One of them was even kind enough to lead me to an interwebbbed computer so I could make the earlier 'live' entry.

Now, if the Miltonites had obeyed Rules 1 through 4, they would have been able to do exactly the same thing. All that's required is a sound knowledge of Liberal thinking and some self control. A *poor* example follows:

"So, what are your views on immigration?"
"Well, I think diversity is an important part of any community and I would like to grind the foreign devils' bones into dust!"

Do this, and you *may* just blow your cover.

Sound knowledge. Self Control. Got it?

As it turned out, they got their picture taken by a few people who could be bothered to cross the road, but they were nowhere near the action.

Ooh, look! Here's Charles Kennedy, emerging from the Battle Bus to be greeted by our own Sue Doughty (who I also had the pleasure of meeting briefly).



Now here's the cool bit... I waltzed right in following the press troupe and looked busy (see Rule #2). *This* is where a determined activist should have been. On the spot in a crowded room with all cameras watching, ready with a fold-out poster and/or a difficult question. Getting dragged out of the room as you shout incoherently is always a good back-up plan, just in case the right opportunity fails to present itself.

Now, I was there primarily to watch out for just such a thing, so I could blog it. Having people in the crowd who 'knew' me helped... but the opportunity was there for the taking for anyone with a little knowledge, initiative and/or guts.



Did the Miltonites get this close? No, they did not. Because they suck.

(pokes tongue out at Miltonites)

It may have something to do with needing fewer brain cells to swallow Anne Milton's constant stream of drivel, but I've yet to get professional and independent confirmation of that.

Yes, I did get to shake Charles Kennedy by the hand... and I must say the man looks bloody healthy for someone with a new baby. And he walked out of the building *still* looking healthy (and in a surprisingly upright position).

Want to know why?

Because there was no grand legion of superbugs hiding in the beds and no tidal wave of foreigners/murderers hiding under them.

I'm sure that comes as a great relief to you.

(Oh, while we're all here, I'd like to introduce you to a Tory who doesn't believe in dirty tricks. He won't let those bullies win, nosiree!)

I hear that Michael Howard is coming to town shortly. If Anne agrees, I'm happy to attend this event as an observer also. I'll let you know how I get on.

Labels: lib-dems

I happened across a copy of theTimes today, which helpfully informed me that Charles Kennedy was appearing in Guildford this afternoon.

A quick call to the Lib Dems and I had a time and location, so here I am at the University of Surrey (Duke of Kent building), playing the role of Independent Observer.

I hope to meet Sue Doughty for the first time and maybe even get a moment with Charles, but we'll see what happens. Job comes first.

Y'see, I found out that there was a group of young Tory activists determined to disrupt the event. I already have a shot or two of them standing rather forlornly in the rain with their little Anne Milton posters, and I'll share that and a full report with you later.

I have to go now... Charles is running late, but not that late.

Cheers all.

Labels: lib-dems

BBC - NHS anger over Tory MRSA claims: Hospital bosses have rounded on Tory leader Michael Howard after he leafleted thousands of homes quoting misleading figures about MRSA rates. In North Yorkshire, leaflets from Mr Howard claimed there had been 247 MRSA cases at the local hospital in the last year when there had only been six. Several other trusts have told the NHS Confederation similar misleading claims have been made about their MRSA rates. The Tories said they should have made clear these were regional figures. Leaflets have gone out to areas across the country which the Tories are targeting.



Well, what do you know? We're such an important seat to the Tories that we get a special full-page ad in the local paper (pictured above), which states that: Last year, 134 people caught MRSA from dirty hospitals in your area alone.

Now, when they say 'your area', what do you think they're referring to?

The constituency of Guildford? Nope. Go a little wider.

The county of Surrey? Nope, a little wider still.

StevieP informs us (under Comments here) that:

"Actually there were only 24 cases at the Royal Surrey with the majority of the quoted 134 cases coming from St Georges, Tooting (73 cases). Full details here (PDF). I know our Prospective Parliamentary Candidate comes from Reigate not Guildford, but Tooting isn’t even in Surrey."

He goes on to say:

"The '5,000 deaths' a year under Mr Blair banner headline is even more of a distortion, the figure comes from a National Audit Office 2000 report (PDF) and is based on U.S. figures from the mid-80's when Mr Howard not Mr Blair was in government."

The BBC clarify matters further here.

First, it's fear of foreigners. Now it's fear of disease. Surely it's only a matter of time before... whoops, too late: they've already had a go at fear of diseased foreigners. You've got to love the constant association of asylum and immigration, too. Further blur the line between asylum and terrorism and you've got a heady mix of fear. Over nothing.

Hell, posters have turned up in Guildford suggesting that we will all be murdered in our beds if we vote Lib-Dem. It's all less-than-subtle and very powerful stuff, but they're digging a serious hole for themselves.

So long as they stick with fear of disease, they can continue to insist that we "put Matron in charge" because that works in well with Anne Milton's claims of 25 years experience as a nurse... but if they come in heavy on fear of crime, surely they'll have to show that Milton has X number of years experience as a costumed vigilante with a burning desire for justice. And perhaps an invisible flying car. And a tight-fitting Kevlar jumpsuit that....

Ok, I'll stop there - but if this does turn out to be the case, you can rest assured that I will be studying her origin story very closely for continuity errors.

(Ooh, look! The perfect opportunity to slip in a plug for a local business. There could be some money in this...)

Labels: the usual rubbish

Surrey Advertiser - Row erupts over Tories' 'appalling' poll leaflet (15 April 2005): A Conservative campaign leaflet claiming that asylum seekers get preferential treatment for housing has been branded as disgraceful and appalling.

(I'd like to give a quick hat-tip to lambethlad before saying...)

You read it here first, folks:

Meet Dennis Paul (22nd March 2005)
It gets uglier every day (14th April 2005)

Now, let's see if we can't further inform the friendly folks at the Surrey Ad ...

To: Editor, Surrey Advertiser
From: Tim Ireland

When confronted over Dennis Paul's wretched little document, Anne Milton claimed that; "We had no intention of offending anyone by our leaflet and indeed the only complaint we have had about it has come from the Liberal Democrats."

If a document is designed to misinform and no-one complains about it, all this proves is that the document is doing precisely what it was designed to do. This is no defence.

It's also a barefaced lie. I'm not a Liberal Democrat, and I complained about it.

I published it in full on my website on the 22nd of March and expressed my concerns in detail. I have since emailed Anne Milton about the website and talked to her personally by phone. There is no way that she could be unaware of my complaint.

It also needs to be noted that if Anne Milton does wish to distance herself from Dennis Paul, she will need to produce a new pamphlet to replace the one released this month. The cheery young lass on the back page proclaiming Anne to be "bright, spirited and intelligent" is Dennis Paul's wife, Dora.

Still, there's more where she came from. Dora is only one of many Tory ringers brought in to convince us that Anne Milton is the 'Talk Of The Town'.

Tim Ireland

Labels: racism

Congratulations to Dennis Paul, who - since this post was published - has attracted an added 92 visitors to his website. Well, perhaps not... if you look at his published stats (on the bottom left of the front page) you'll note that all you have to do is click 'refresh' to bump the number up another digit. It counts visits, not visitors. So that's 327 visits to the front page on the 22nd of March and 419 today:



This weblog has been live for just under a month. In that time, it has attracted 4,936 visits from 2,588 unique visitors. 720 of these visitors have returned for more.

This is the bit where I remind you of Guildford's voting history. Nicholas St Aubyn inherited a theoretical majority of 13,404... he then saw it reduced to 4,791 in 1997 and lost the seat by 538 votes in 2001. I'm sensing a pattern here, and by my reckoning Anne will have a bit of a hill to climb this time around.

I mention those stats not as some kind of 'how high can my wee-wee go' competition, but to help Dennis and Anne out with a small problem they seem to share - that of denial (habitual liars tend to start deluding themselves after a while).

The purpose of this weblog is as follows: to focus a microscope on Anne Milton's campaign in an effort to find something - anything - of substance.

And it's here that I need to draw attention to the wider picture.

Blogs usually do not work well as pure campaigning tools, and there's a reason for that. This technology aids networking, but it doesn't create a network out of thin air. You either need an established network to start with or you need to get out there and do stuff and build your network. The more stuff you do, the more familiar people become with your name and/or that of your website. If the result/reception has been largely positive, you'll find people are more likely to promote you or help you do more stuff. (Please note that the last two 'outings' of Dipstick Ringers have resulted from people who have begun to network with this weblog.)

Now, we know this system also works in real life, because it's been in operation since the first tribe was formed.

But if you take a look at Anne Milton and all the stuff she has 'taken action' on in the past, what do you see?

Her March pamphlet proclaimed her to be 'The Talk Of The Town', but she is far from that. The few people I've met in Guildford who have heard of her don't think much of her (but I'll get onto that in a moment).

For all she's done, she cannot find as few as a dozen people willing to thank her by endorsing her publicly. She falls so far short of critical mass that she appears to be completely reliant on Tory activists, councillors, their daughters and their wives.

Posters for Anne are turning up in properties across the constituency, but this - again - is part of the Tory machine, not part of the Anne Milton machine.

Now we get back to those people I've met (not via this weblog) who have become aware of her, but don't think much of her. By and large, their negative opinions result from Anne's cack-handed attempts to paint herself as a popular woman of action when she is nothing of the sort. They think she's full of crap.

In short; Anne's campaign of faking popular support is losing her support.

Have you got that last bit, Anne? Are you paying attention?

Have you realised that I'm one of these people and therefore merely a symptom of a problem that you yourself have created?

I hope so. Because ignoring the problem is not going to make it go away. And on that note, here is a copy of the email I sent last week that you chose to ignore:

----- Original Message -----
From: Tim Ireland
To: Anne Milton
Sent: Friday, April 08, 2005 9:23 AM
Subject: march and april pamphlets

Dear Anne,

It has been alleged that the 'Katherine' that appears in both of your most recent pamphlets is one Katherine Lyons, and shown on the electoral roll to be at the same address as Richard M Halderthay, who is the promoter behind this same pamphlet.

Given the common address and differing names, I would take a guess that Katherine is the married daughter of Richard.

Would you care to confirm, deny or clarify this?

Tim Ireland

Labels: dennis paul, tory ringers

Following the publication of a scan of the April pamphlet on this weblog, comments by StevieP have led us to yet another Dipstick Ringer.

Here's Dora saying; "Bright, spirited and intelligent, Anne's a winner."



I'll get on to who Dora is in a moment. First I'd like to remind you of Dennis Paul stirring up fear of foreigners and draw your attention to a comment on this post from shalfordian: This is beginning to get SERIOUS (and I don't use upper case lightly.) Last night (12 April) at the Amnesty public meeting with all five Guildford candidates, the subject of racism in local leaflets came up and Dipstick claimed not to know anything about it - until Sue slapped one in front of her (Dennis Paul's) saying "But it's got your face all over it" No response from Dipstick, who rather looked as if she wished the earth would swallow her.

There's more, but I'll get on to Anne's status as nurse, ex-nurse or non-nurse at a later date. What I want to focus on right now is how close Anne Milton is to Dennis Paul. If she wishes to put some distance between herself and Dennis (and/or his grubby little leaflets), she has one major problem... and that's Dora the Supporter.

Dora is Dennis Paul's wife.

You can check this out for yourself in the March pamphlet (PDF). I've included a partial scan of relevant page below:



Or you can see it with your own eyes via Dennis Paul's own website where you will find this (very large) portrait of his family (I've included an enhanced version below).



So there you have it folks. Anne Milton and Dennis Paul. Thick as thieves.

(Cheers to StevieP and shalfordian for their input.)

Labels: dennis paul, tory ringers

OK, so I started cleaning up the shoddy Anne Milton image, when all of a sudden *I* got sick of looking at her face. So I popped over to my stats package for a little break and found something interesting in the referrals... Previously, this weblog only attracted 4-5 people a day who were looking for 'anne milton' in a search engine (this blog is the top search result for that query in Google, Yahoo and MSN).

That number has now gone up to 15-20 a day. And I think I know why. Driving around yesterday, I noticed a few posters for Anne Milton had started appearing in properties around Cranleigh and Guildford - and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how this idea occured...

People of Guildford, if you happen to live one house down from a property that features an 'Anne Milton' poster, I'd like to to erect one of our posters so people have access to all the information they require about this candidate.

Instructions:

1.Open these two files in your browser and print each image onto A4 paper:
http://www.bloggerheads.com/images/am_poster_left.jpg
http://www.bloggerheads.com/images/am_poster_right.jpg

2. Take these print-outs to your local post office, newsagent or public library and photocopy/enlarge them both to A3

3. Take the two A3 sheets and stick them to a piece of 600mmx420mm board

4. Erect this board in your front yard in such as way as to provide the resulting sequence as people drive/walk past from your neighbour's poster to yours:
ANNE MILTON... IS A DIPSTICK

Your finished poster should look like this:



And the final result should look like this:



Your neighbour may get a little stroppy with you and want to tear your poster down but, damn it, that's what ASBOs are for!

Labels: the usual rubbish

Something *else* that struck me about Anne's April newsletter was this shoddy cut-out of her in the MAIN PICTURE (!) inside the pamphlet:



Take a look at that hair-line, folks. It looks like the designer started half-heartedly and just gave up halfway through.

Maybe this designer didn’t think Anne was worth the trouble. Or perhaps they simply got sick of looking at her face.

Now, think about it, people. Anne wants to win this seat. Obviously if she wants to do this, she will be putting her best foot forward... but she regards this kind of work to be adequate for publication. *This* is her best foot going forward.

God help us if she's put in charge of anything of consequence!

(NOTE - I'll work on doing a proper cut-out of this later today, just to show Anne how it's done.)

Labels: the usual rubbish

Hmm. Something else just popped up... why was this change necessary, do you think?



Current theories:

1. It's a pretty awful scan, but that *doesn't* look like Sue Doughty to me. Maybe the image was dropped because a caption change to 'Anne with some lady' didn't quite cut it.

2. If that is Sue Doughty, then perhaps her minders thought that a direct comparison would not work in Anne's favour.

3. Perhaps - just perhaps - they dropped this photo because a few moments after it was taken, Anne lost control and ate the toddler.

Anyone else?

Labels: the usual rubbish

Anne latest pamphlet is out, and it looks like this weblog has had an impact. As this scan of the back of her latest pamphlet shows (small version below), she's dropped all pretence that these opinions come from your average man in the street.



But there's still someone familiar that catches my eye and takes me back to the March pamphlet. Looking inside this (the April pamphlet, available here in PDF format) we see a woman and child appearing twice. Her face is largely obscured in both photos but that ugly, ugly overcoat is a dead giveaway - it's Katherine, who appeared on the front and back pages of the March pamphlet.



Now, some unkind things have been said about Anne Milton and her propensity to eat small children, but I previously dismissed such claims as facetious nonsense. However, it now appears that Anne has only been able to dig up *one* local citizen willing to bring their child within reach of her mighty jaws. Smoke and fire, people... smoke and fire.

Let's move along to the text, because it contains an interesting development...

For quite some time now, a spirited battle has taken place on the Letters page of our local newspaper between the developer Michel Harper and those who oppose his plans to build a casino. Our MP, Sue Doughty, has been quite vocal about this and has written many letters herself. But has Little Ms Action had anything to say about it one way or the other? No, she has not.

Until now...

Anne Milton's latest pamphlet declares that:

"ANNE takes ACTION on stopping a Casino in Guildford from going ahead"

But to date she's taken no such action. It's taken her this long just to form an *opinion*!

So I think it's worth taking a closer look at her other claims of action, so we can see how they stand up. Please keep in mind that I'm approaching this not as an activist or a representative of the Lib-Dems, I'm just a concerned citizen with a low tolerance for bullshit. If you'd care to add anything under Comments, the floor is open:

ANNE takes ACTION on Recycling and caring for our environment
Why, so she does. Here she is recycling something and here she is picking up litter. Compare these two photo opportunities with this:
Sue Doughty backs doorstep recycling in the commons.
But... let's be fair and allow Labour to claim credit, too. As far as I can tell, every candidate claims to back recycling and other environmentally-friendly initiatives. Unless Anne has actually taken exceptional action that sets her apart, all I see here is 'more of the same'.

ANNE takes ACTION on Protecting green fields
As what? A scarecrow? I direct your attention to the recent Environmental Audit Minutes of Evidence and this input from Sue Doughty.

ANNE takes ACTION on Stopping regional house building targets
Oh, I see. You want to stop building houses in the area, even though it's quite obvious that scrounging illegal immigrants are snapping up all available housing in the area. Makes perfect sense to me

ANNE takes ACTION on Stopping unwanted mobile phone masts
So does Sue Doughty. Another 'Me too!' moment from Anne Milton, ladies and gentlemen.

ANNE takes ACTION on Supporting the new hospital
Yes. She used to a nurse, you know. Next...

ANNE takes ACTION on Preventing the closure of Milford Hospital
Same issue, isn't it? Support new ones, don't close old ones. Let's see what Sue Doughty thinks.

ANNE takes ACTION on Preventing more Post Office Closures
Hmm. You know, this looks like action to me, too:
Post Office Branch Closures Unacceptable says Sue Doughty
Sue Doughty meets with post office for urgent talks on closure

ANNE takes ACTION on Better enforcement of speed limits
Better enforcement? As in more police? I thought they were supposed to be busy eyeballing yobs. Perhaps it's more speed cameras Anne wants. Or moody loners with robot cars.

ANNE takes ACTION on Stopping anti-social behaviour
Ah, yes. The yobs. And quite possibly the only actual action I've seen from Anne Milton so far. Thanks to Tory-bod Mike Chambers we know that Anne Milton helped get a camera in an underpass.

ANNE takes ACTION on Safer streets, safer town, safer villages
See above.

ANNE takes ACTION on Cleaner streets
See above. No, up. Up further. Right at the top. There you go.

ANNE takes ACTION on Saying no to the Guildford Casino
See even further above. Also, what the hell does this mean? Anne Milton takes action on saying no. Not "Anne Milton takes action" or "Anne Milton takes action *by* saying 'no'"... but "Anne Milton takes action *on* saying no". I think it means that she has taken action on saying no by - after months of saying nothing - printing that she says 'no' in this pamphlet. So the sentence that claims she takes action refers to the action taken by printing the sentence itself. Clear?

ANNE takes ACTION on A fairer and lower Council tax
Another victory for Anne 'Me too!' Milton... Sue Doughty - We Need a Fairer Council Tax

ANNE takes ACTION on A better, prompter train service
Yes. To correct the crappy, late services caused by the Tory-led privatisation of rail.

ANNE takes ACTION on Building the new Civic Hall in Guildford
Would that be the Civic Hall in Guildford designed to replace the one that Tory councillors closed despite protests from Lib-Dems?
Lib Dems target council leader over Civic Hall 'fiasco'

ANNE takes ACTION on Saying no to incineration
This, I assume, refers to her opposition to plans for a Guildford incinerator. That originated from the Tory-run Council. Here's Sue again, opposing the last Tory candidate who supported the incinerator... and lost. A jolly good plan of Anne's, then, to come out against it. Even though it was her lot that backed it.

All in all, I'm seeing a lot of bluster, a lot of bull and very little action. But that's nothing new, really.

Still, I was inspired enough to take a little action myself. Anne's past naughtiness with pamphlets left us in a position where we didn't actually know what local people thought of her... so I popped into uk.local.surrey and asked.

What *do* local people think of Anne Milton? Well, from my small online sample, all I have so far is this:

"I think I can honestly say I've never thought of Anne Milton...."

"Who?"

"To be honest - I don't give a toss about Anne Milton or any of her ilk... I'm no New Labour supporter but after 18 years of Tory tripe of ruining our country and turning us into materialistic, money is everything, house price obsessed, damn the disadvantaged nation we appear to have become, I'm sure ain't going to vote the like of Ann Milton into Parliament."

"I might if she's got big tits."

Hm. She happens a great big tit herself. I'm wondering if that counts...

There's also this interesting observation:

"Well, I was in the same room as her once, is that good enough? Seriously, I am fascinated by this complete change in campaigning style. We have been inundated with leaflets and flyers all featuring the smiling and local campaigning Anne Milton and I opened the door the other day to be confronted by a bright young confident gentleman who brightly asked if I was going to vote Conservative. No doubt this is not the last visit. I just find it interesting that Anne Milton seems to be conducting a local campaign that is more Lib-Dem in style than the Lib-Dems do themselves. It also feels like a local council election rather than preparing for a national election and I think that this is unhealthy; a national general election is surely about national policies and what is good for the country rather than the fact that the Conservative candidate tried to save our local Post Office and picks up litter in Gomshall or wherever."

I'd agree with that up to a point (I do like an MP who actually spends time serving their constituents, and MPs that do so deserve credit for that work). The Tories appear to be relying on their recent Council wins while hammering Anne Milton into something that could pass as a rough facsimile of our current MP.

(And they'd probably stand some chance of success if the challenge were set in a room full of mentally-challenged rhesus monkeys. Wait... strike that. Best make it; ' a *darkened* room full of mentally-challenged rhesus monkeys'....)

Labels: inaction, tory ringers

Thanks to comments made following the outing of Mike Chambers, we now know that another 'average local person' in Anne Milton's 'Talk of the Town' pamphlet is closely tied to her party and/or campaign.

(BTW - Yes, that is Howard Flight pictured between Anne Milton and Mike Chambers in that post. As far as I know, Anne has expressed no opinion about the recent unpleasantness, but she *is* becoming famous for waiting to hear what the majority thinks before forming her 'own' opinion.)

Meet Mandy. She thinks; "Anne really understands our worries about crime and anti-social behaviour. She'll be a really effective MP."

1. Note that word 'worries'... this suggests - once again - that the local Tory campaign in based not on reality, but a perception of it.
2. I doubt very much that Anne will be an effective MP, but I'll get onto that shortly.
3. The womanly 'man in the street' Mandy is in fact Councillor Mandy Worrall of Ash Parish Council (bottom right).



Now, here I seek to remind you that the original investigation into Mike Chambers was very much the result of random selection. I started with one face, hit pay-dirt, and then stopped there.

I then did Anne the courtesy of asking her straight out if my suspicions were correct and allowing her to respond.

And what was the result?

A promise that she would get back to me.

Did she keep this promise?

No, she did not.

In much the same way that she didn't keep her promise to get back to me about the mysterious call centre that she knew all along was directly connected to her party.

Now we get back to my judgement as to whether she'll be a good MP...

Let's begin with this comment on Guido's blog from lambethlad: re Anne Milton - her own side don't like her either. And this was also true when she was a Reigate councillor. Great promises, but no action.

I couldn't possibly comment about what was or wasn't delivered in Reigate (or if Anne was or wasn't the most popular girl in class), but I *do* know that I've had direct contact with Anne Milton twice now - and on both occasions she has promised to take action and failed to deliver.

So, previously when I saw her claiming to be Little Ms Action when it came to mobile phone masts when I knew that Sue Doughty had been taking reaction on behalf of residents (and was certainly better-placed to do so, being our MP and all) I was willing to give Anne the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she also had taken action on behalf of residents.

But I don't think like that any more... because I know she's all mouth and no trousers.

When I read in her pamphlet that she would oppose any plans to build an incinerator in Guildford when I knew that plans for an incinerator originated from the Tory-run Council, I was willing to believe that perhaps Anne simply had a different view to her Tory counterparts on local Councils.

But I don't think like that any more... because I know she's all mouth and no trousers.

I once thought that if/when Anne *finally* expressed an opinion on the hot issue of a local casino, I would be willing to listen to that opinion and take it at face value.

But I don't think like that any more... because I know she's all mouth and no trousers.

And finally... now Anne's pamphlet assures me that she's the 'Talk Of The Town' and not one but *two* of the locals featured in this pamphlet (who have [a] heard of her and [b] think highly of her) turn out to be closely associated with her party or campaign, I'm now inclined to think that ALL of the locals featured in this same pamphlet are closely associated with her party or campaign. Every last one.

Because I know she's all mouth and no trousers.

But... Anne has a chance to tell me otherwise, prove me wrong and/or earn back the benefit of the doubt.

All she has to do is fulfil her promise to get back to me about the other vox-pops in this pamphlet and tell me how many of them are sourced from people closely associated with her party and/or her campaign.

And she has a clear choice here...

She can some clean and tell us what the story is (i.e. elaborate on "So what?" and tell us how many of these 'average people in the street' work for her or the Tories) or I can start digging in earnest.

Hell, I can even spend time focusing on other issues and just sit back and wait for further revelations regarding this pamphlet - and others - to come in via readers... one after the other... over the next 4 weeks.

Your call, Anne. Come clean or get hosed.

UPDATE - Here you go, folks... here's a scan of the back page of Anne's March 2005 pamphlet (there's also a PDF version available on this page of her website). Let me know if you recognise anyone.

Labels: tory ringers

Guido's got a point here; there is more than a passing resemblance... but 'hate' site?



In the comments, new blogger Patsy seems to agree and says that this puts to bed the notion that Lib Dems are "nice" people. The only problem with this assertion is that I'm a *very* nice person. And not a Lib-Dem.

Now... Anne... this is twice now that you've promised to get back to me about issues I've raised about your campaign and failed to do so. I may not hate you, but I'm developing a growing dislike for your attitude...

Labels: turtleneck sweaters