Anne Milton - Guildford MP (and Dipstick)

Hi folks. Sorry I've been away, but I hope to make it up to you all very soon.

To be honest, I've been quite glad of the break on one specific front; the Save The Royal Surrey campaign.

Given the importance of the campaign, the rare cross-party unity that heralded its launch, and the Miltonites' absolute certainty that I'm part of some grand Liberal Democrat conspiracy against them, it seemed to me that the most constructive thing I could do was stay the hell out of it.

Sadly, the calls for unity from the Conservative side have been rendered meaningless by the most-vocal supporters of Milton and the campaign to save the Royal Surrey can only be undermined as a result. I'll go into detail on this and a number of other outstanding matters one day soon, but first - here's the reason I'm back one day early...

The Times - MPs don't know their Sunnis from Shi'ites: Anne Milton, the Tory MP for Guildford, wears the dunce's cap after getting 13 out of 14 questions wrong. It even slipped her mind that she was a member of the Friends of Islam group. "Ooh, am I?" she said. "Oh yes, I suppose so. I forgot. I don't think I've sat on it yet."

Oh dear... where to start...?

Well, let's begin at the bottom (where Anne is) and work our way up....

1. Anne Milton forgot that she was a member of the All-Party Parliamentary Friends of Islam Group and does not even appear to have attended a single meeting of the group. Given her performance on the Health Select Committee, we should not be surprised.

2. To anybody who is actually surprised by this turn of events; I would like to point out that Anne Milton was once outwitted by Geoff Hoon.

3. Poor Anne was singled out as the most ignorant MP, but it should be pointed out that only 30 MPs faced the challenge. OK, so all of these MPs were chosen on the basis of their claimed/implied 'expertise' on the Middle East, but let's at least try to be charitable here; if every MP in the country faced the quiz, she may have fared a little better... comparatively.

To help make this very important point a little clearer, we must seek wisdom from The Simpons:

Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.

Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community.

4. Anne may even have known a few of the answers had she spent more time reading Wikipedia and less time making vanity-edits to her entry.

5. It must be kept in mind that this most-capable of representatives votes in Parliament and even poses questions that are specific to the Middle East... but I think I've already made it clear that I think she is an unworthy and incapable representative, so I won't pose the obvious question again.

6. But I will pose a new one;

Will Anne Milton do the honourable thing and resign from the All-Party Parliamentary Friends of Islam Group?

(Psst! Amme! Next time you're put on the spot by a journalist, here's what you should do; totally ignore the question(s) they put to you, and instead have your activists post libellous claims about them on the internet. Anonymous websites about their wives and children should shut them right up, and - if this fails - have your activists spread rumours about an arrest record in a way that puts Wikipedia at risk instead of your good self.)

Labels: hypocrisy, ignorance, middle east, royal surrey

The latest issue of the Surrey Advertiser reports that David Cameron rolled into town this week "to test-drive an array of eco-friendly cars" at Dunsfold Park.

It also informs us that MPs Jeremy Hunt and Anne Milton were rather shy about what they drive... they both chose to hide their cars behind an aircraft hangar!

Jeremy - to his credit - reacted to that hot feeling on the back of his neck and made a pledge to upgrade to a hybrid alternative.

Anne had no such feeling (insert 'cold-blooded reptile' joke here) and made no such pledge... and instead chose to dodge the issue. (Surprise, surprise, surprise!)

So... given that Amme has to drive all the way from Reigate (on those days when she can be bothered to turn up in Guildford at all) I think that the electorate has a right to know what model car she drives... don't you?

PS - I really must include this picture from the event. It speaks for itself...

UPDATE - Independent - Cameron's image as green leader goes up in smoke: David Cameron's campaign for the green vote suffered a setback when it emerged that he is followed by his official car when he cycles to work. Mr Cameron has been regularly photographed cycling the five miles from his west London home to Westminster. In fact, he is often followed by his Lexus car, whose driver picks up shoes, clothes and documents the Tory leader cannot carry on his bike.

Labels: 'local', david cameron, hypocrisy, publicity

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Anne Milton: "The voice of the young is the voice of the future, and politicians must realise that."

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Hey, guess what? Anne's full of it!

Last night, there was a vote on the following:

Representation of the People (Reduction of Voting Age) - 29 Nov 2005 - Division No. 109: That leave be given to bring in a Bill to reduce the voting age for parliamentary, local government and European parliamentary elections to 16.

Anne is used to narrow margins, so I'm sure she recognises one when she sees it, but I think it's worth mentioning to the folks at home that this bill was killed by a margin of 8 votes... and Anne Milton voted against it.

Let's take a quick trip to the Essex Police website and see what you can do - besides vote - when you are between the ages of 16-18:

AGE 16
You can buy cigarettes or tobacco
You can leave school
You can choose your own doctor
You can claim social security benefit
You can work full time
You can leave home with your parents' consent
You can get married with one parent's consent
You can drink wine or beer with a meal in a restaurant
You can hold a licence to drive a moped
You can buy a ticket in the National Lottery

AGE 17
You can hold a licence to drive any vehicle except certain heavy ones
You can engage in street trading
You can purchase an air rifle
You can leave home without your parents’ consent

This list fails to mention that you can also join the army at age 16. You also get to pay taxes. Taxes that pay Anne Milton's wages.

But you cannot vote at age 16. Anne 'the voice of the young is the voice of the future' Milton says so.

Anne's position on this seems pretty hypocritical, especially when you consider how childish many of her deceptions are.

Labels: hypocrisy

1. I can offer a very special and exclusive prize (to anyone who's a fan of my photoshopping) for the first photo of Anne Milton - our loving Matron - with her lips wrapped around a smoking fag.

2. Word reaches me that Anne has a nickname other than 'Dipstick'. It has been reported than the name 'Princess Pushy' has been attributed to her since She With The VSM (very small margin) was seen edging her way to the front of subsequent photo-ops. Ah, yes... eye on the prize. Patsy likes that in an MP, yes she does.

3. I wonder when Anne's 'residence' will come back on the market? Perhaps it's on the market or even taken already. No sense in continuing to live in a one-bedroom flat with a husband and three kids at home, now is there?

4. This groundless, needlessly personal and clearly biased post is dedicated to the many supporters of Anne Milton who finally had to guts to speak up (after the election) but still have not answered any pending questions beyond "Ha-ha, you lost!" and/or "Anne is a really nice person, why can't you accept that?"

Labels: 'local', hypocrisy, publicity

And now, an important message from Anne Milton, Yoda and the Conservative Party:

WHAT DO TRAINS YOU THINK?

This wonderful photo (you can see more here) was taken when Anne Milton hit the streets to ask Guildford's commuters what they think of the rail service:



So... what do trains I think?

Privatisation be the problem making, I think. Problem be Conservatives caused by, I think also.

Words be spoke by Tim Yeo the former Shadow for Transport Minister being: "Railway privatisation, of which I have long been an enthusiastic supporter, is the first and long overdue step towards rebuilding a golden age of rail.."

But turning out that way they not turn out to be, yes?

Things be turning out as a pear all shaped.

So... what do trains I think?

I think shutting up Anne Milton should be.

What do trains you think?

Labels: hypocrisy, the usual rubbish