This entry was posted on
Friday, December 10th, 2004 at
11:09 am and is filed
under Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch.

The Sun – Wanted: Satan Claus: DO-GOODERS are out to turn Santa into Satan – so today The Sun calls on readers to help save the old boy from the sack. Jovial Father Christmas is HATED by the politically correct brigade. He is demonised and treated like a wanted man. His crime? Bringing joy and wonder to millions of kiddies around the world. The Sun launched its Save Our Christmas campaign yesterday by exposing the Scrooges who ban lights, carols, cards and other traditional festive pleasures. Today we have the Santa sleighers in our sights. Killjoy bosses at the St Elli shopping centre in Llanelli, South Wales, have installed a webcam to spy on their Santa – in case he is accused of being a PAEDOPHILE.

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I see this first bit of ‘evidence’ of a widespread ‘attack’ on Santa actually being more of a response to paedo-fear. Now if only I could think of who exactly has been whipping people into a frenzy about this.

And, of course, everybody except for us evil killjoy leftists sees the direct connection between Santa Claus and the start of this campaign, rooted in outrage over ‘attacks’ on the religious aspect of Christmas.

The Sun explains it thusly: Some critics of Santa Claus say he is a religious symbol. It is true that he is based on St Nicholas, a saint born in what is now Turkey some 1,700 years ago. But to the vast majority of us, Santa is a symbol of the good times and love we share with our families and friends at this time of year.

How true. How very true. The modern version of Santa Claus is the very (consume!) symbol (consume!) of (consume!) peace, love and goodwill to all men. And all of our attacks on him (I think of nothing but how to defeat Santa every day of the week) are based on a pathological hatred for all religions. Unless our unreasoned hatred is based on distaste for his role in introducing children to consumerism. In which case, that’s just us reverting to our main role as cynical killjoys.

Indeed, who would dare oppose the pro-Christmas (buy The Sun!) poster (buy The Sun!) campaign (buy The Sun!) that’s due to begin tomorrow? This would be an attack on Christmas itself (and can only help the terrorists).

Point out that this is a cynical marketing ploy from a newspaper with slipping readership, and you may as well tell your kids that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

Well, I’m here to tell you that yes (Virginia) there is a Santa Claus, and he is now the property of Rupert Murdoch.

Hands off.

UPDATE – Blood & Treasure: The Sun endorses human sacrifice