This entry was posted on
Sunday, March 16th, 2003 at
5:08 pm and is filed
under Uncategorized.
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Date
20030316
Can Weblogs…?
Time
17:08
OK, folks – we’re ready to roll. You may fire when ready:
Can Weblogs Get a Good Man a Great Job?
We won’t know how successful we’re likely to be until the next one or two updates of Blogdex (next major update should be just after 9am GMT), but it’s going to be a lot of fun finding out.
UPDATE – Hmm, that 20lb carp that was heard shouting in Hebrew may present us a with a bit of an obstacle…
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Date
20030317
It’s War! And We’re All Going To Die!
Time
08:30
I looks like these crazy buggers are going to go ahead with this corporate takeover no matter what any reasonable or legal objection to it may be. Lots of email has been coming through to (not) Tony Blair’s email address. I’ll try to answer what I can today, but I’m kind of busy on a few fronts. (Including the civil disobedience front. I have a solid idea cooking that will allow everybody to help in some small way. Watch this space.)
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Date
20030317
Time
08:43
Vandenberg Air Force Base authorizes ‘deadly force’ against trespassing protesters.
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Date
20030317
Time
08:44
G’waaaan, have a drink, look at a few fake arses. Enjoy life while you can.
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Date
20030317
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
08:55
—– Original Message —–
From: Bernice (a WebTV user)
To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk
Sent: Sunday, March 16, 2003 1:53 PM
Subject: GREETINGS
–>
–> MY DEAR TONY—
–> GOD BLESS YOU
–>
–> Tony I write this EMAIL to you
–> to tell you Im an 86 yr young
–> ADMIRER
–> of you and YOUR BELIEFS
–> and want you to
–> know I follow all your
–> SPEECHES and
–> ARTICLES
–>
–> You are KOOL!!!!!
–>
–> We all LOVE YA TONY
–> here in the USA
–>
–> KEEP the FAITH
–> and
–> FOLLOW YOUR
–> CONVICTIONS
–>
–> YOU ROCK TONY
–>
–> Bernice
Dear Bernice,
It comes as no surprise to us that a guitar-wielding rebel like Tony Blair would appeal to a young, groovy and hip person such as your good self.
Would you like an autographed 8 x 10 glossy? We still have some nude pictures floating around here somewhere and would be happy to send you one, but insist that you send us some dirty Polaroids of yourself first.
Regards,
Tim Ireland
(on behalf of Tony Blair)
https://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp
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Date
20030317
Time
08:56
Tough cops enjoy life in a soft town where even the kids “wave with all five fingers.”
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Date
20030317
Time
09:00
Being overweight is good. And fun. It could even lead to a future career as a comic book crimefighter. Sounds to me like someone is dying for an excuse to wear skin-tight lycra and a cape (as opposed to, say, skin-tight lycra and an oversized t-shirt).
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Date
20030317
Can Weblogs…?
Time
09:07
Can Weblogs Get a Good Man a Great Job? is currently at equal-24th on Blogdex. Blogdex does regular updates throughout the day, so a few extras should be ticking over anytime now. Here’s hoping. I’d like something positive to look forward to today.
9:58am (GMT): Equal-15th now. Only a few more links need to go live to push us into everyone’s immediate field of view.
10:40am (GMT): Equal-12th (after finally going live with that link from the Ultimate Insult itself). Just a couple more will push it over the top – then we can really find out how many people think this is a good idea.
13:50pm (GMT) Equal-10th,and a few links are still due to appear. The tension is killing me. I may have a nap.
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Date
20030317
Time
09:19
I seem to remember MPs in this country being promised ‘a number of chances’ to debate involvement in this war. Seems to me they have about 12 hours to enjoy all of them.
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Date
20030317
Time
10:02
I know what this reminds me of:
Monkeys singing Daydream Believer.
I can also see what this is trying to be. OK, I’ll watch for a bit. Go ahead. Cheer me up. I fucking dare you.
(Via the most-supportive Pitas.)
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Date
20030317
See? I’m Listening…
Time
12:38
Blakes 7 man-nipples. I hear you. Maybe a bit of space-dominatrix into the bargain? I’ll see what I can do.
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Date
20030317
Time
12:40
An excellent article on war coverage over here in the UK. Read it.
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Date
20030317
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
16:18
Well, there you have it folks. This war is going ahead with or without our approval.
There’s a national demonstration this Saturday. I’ll be there.
I refuse to stand by and/or howl with the wolves while a criminal act is taking place.
I am very pissed off about this – and you know what happens when I get pissed off.
A personal campaign of civil disobedience starts here and now. If you like, you’ll be able to join in, too (just give me time to hammer out some details).
Right now, I have to go out and voice my extreme displeasure with the rest of the misguided and naive appeasement-monkeys.
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Date
20030318
Time
08:53
A man who dared to carry anti-war placards on a domestic flight in the U.S. found a card inside his bag letting him know that his luggage had been opened and inspected by the Transportation Security Administration. A small handwritten note was written on the side of the card, reading: “Don’t appreciate your anti-American attitude!”
Nice.
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Date
20030318
Pretty Much What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:58
www.uglyfootballers.com
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Date
20030318
Time
08:59
Click here to send an independent journalist into Iraq. Lots to read here. I’ll be dropping by later today to trawl through it all – and leave a few bucks.
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Date
20030318
Time
09:01
Japanese policeman fired for stealing women’s underwear from school dormitory.
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Date
20030318
Can Weblogs…?
Time
09:06
Our best Blogdex ranking for Can Weblogs Get a Good Man A Great Job? was 9th place. Not as high as I would have liked, (we were up against a talking fish, a pro-Google article, and some small concerns about war) but this high point did coincide with the time when most Americans are groggily scanning websites as they wait for the second caffeine hit of the day to take hold.
A few links we knew of – with sites that are registered with Blogdex – somehow failed to make themselves known. Perhaps they’ll turn up mysteriously at some later stage.
Either way, No. 9 on a Monday morning is pretty respectable, and the page outlining the plan received over 750 visitors as a result of the Blogdex listing and the weblog linkage (with an average of 7 click-throughs for each blog that listed it).
My stats also show that, by late yesterday, the message had begun to spread through a few Boston-based community groups.
Now all it has to do is reach the right person. Fingers crossed.
Oh, and here’s some salad to go with your talking fish.
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Date
20030318
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
10:20
Funny that they should call it the ‘moment of truth’ when so much of it is based on lies and misdirection. I particularly enjoyed the touch of bumping the terror alert to ‘High’ after Bush’s speech.
What better way to hammer home the ‘truth’ that Iraq is a terrorist nation in league with al Qaeda? This is a claim Bush’s crowd has made before, but been unable to back up. Still, it doesn’t stop a large slice of the American population from believing that Saddam Hussein was behind the atrocities of September 11th.
What a good thing, then, that the terrorism link provides such a handy justification for a pre-emptive strike.
Tell you what, if there is a terror attack in the next two days, it will come because nothing would please al Qaeda more than to see two enemies beat up on each other – and make the more powerful of those enemies very, very unpopular in the process.
As for the whole UN thing, I find the assertions being bandied about that France is treacherous and the UN has failed to be insulting in the extreme.
Resolution 1441 does not authorise the use of military force. The ‘no’ you hear is a global one based not only on morality, but legality.
France and Russia have reasons for stopping this war that are far from altruistic, and I have serious trust issues with both governments, but that doesn’t stop this U.S. regime from being wrong, wrong, wrong.
Saddam Hussein must be dealt with, but not by a force that is corrupt and arrogant and will become even more so should they get away with this.
My government should not be involved in this. It’s a crime.
I am not going to stand by and watch it happen – even if it’s just for the giddy thrill of misplaced revenge or the desire to see an MOAB take out a good-sized chunk of Baghdad live on my TV screen.
Today, I’m going to hope that common sense prevails.
I know that I can count on my local MP, so I won’t be needing to lobby today, but I will be making plans for an ongoing campaign of civil disobedience should this government involve itself with a criminal act.
Details to follow. Or you can email me on the quiet and ask me what I’m up to. I’m sure you’ll like the idea. It’s very simple, and actually quite fun.
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Date
20030318
Time
10:29
Robin Cook’s resignation speech wins a standing ovation.
Junior health minister Lord Hunt resigns.
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Date
20030318
Time
10:36
Michael Moore may talk a good game, but his site forum has been down since early January for ‘technical’ reasons. (Mike, I agree with you on a lot of things, but if you can’t tell it like it is, then please shut the hell up.)
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Date
20030318
Time
10:41
Emails for Tony Blair are coming in thick and fast, for and against. It is comforting to know, however, that many messages from slightly brighter people are now reaching him via the email-to-fax address.
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Date
20030318
Time
11:09
The The Star Wars Photoshopping Project has been rediscovered by yet another circle of portals, blogs and forums.
Remember folks, it’s not art until you take part in the gallery. Or so I would have you think…
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Date
20030318
Time
11:26
Remember folks, keep your mind focused on the terrorist threat, and you could win big cash prizes.
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Date
20030318
Civil Disobedience
Time
11:27
My plan for a campaign of subtle yet effective civil disobedience (drop me a line for details) is getting some extremely positive feedback.
I agonised over this for hours yesterday, trying to come up with the best delivery system and contacting a few likely supporters, but as it turns out, the idea is so simple, so appealing and so easy to put into action that I think email alone will suffice.
UPDATE – How easy is it to understand and enact? Even more feedback has established an interesting pattern. 90% of respondents make this kind of statement as part of their reply:
‘I’m in. Consider such-and-such an area to be covered.’
I think we may be onto a winner here, folks. Now, to see what the MPs decide…
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Date
20030318
Time
13:35
Oh, great. So now war on Iraq is an answer to the Israel/Palestine crisis?
Stirring stuff, but still based on 100% bullshit.
I don’t buy it.
Neither do others, it seems. Hello to everybody who held back on emailing me until about 5 minutes after Tony Blair had finished making his case. I’m responding as fast as I can, folks.
Hang on, house discussions…
If you can’t watch it on TV, there’s an excellent minute-by-minute update over at The Guardian.
Some Conservative just said something unsavoury about Charles Kennedy. Only the Speaker really heard it – but he forced them to stand up and withdraw it anyway. Heh. I can’t wait to hear all about that one.
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Date
20030318
Civil Disobedience
Time
14:57
This is such a powerful idea that a lot of people have already committed themselves to action and are right now arming themselves for said action.
If you are planning on using public transport to get home tonight, my advice to you is to leave early. Or maybe even now. Just in case.
Myself, I’m inclined to wait to act until after the Commons vote. I know it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion, but hope springs eternal.
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Date
20030318
Time
15:16
I just had to go and get the key to let the kids from next door in. They’re home early because everybody walked out of school early in protest.
Police vans are in Cranleigh trying to control a bunch of people jumping around on top of buses (or bus shelters, depending on who you ask).
We’re not happy people.
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Date
20030318
Time
15:20
Bruce George, the Labour chairman of the Common’s defence select committee, has actually asked rebel MPs to “wait and see the opinion polls the day after war starts”.
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Date
20030318
Time
16:04
Y. Bee Normal wrote in and pointed out that I might be accused of Yank-bashing today, so it’s worth pointing out (especially with so many new readers floating around) that I have nothing against Americans – just a few of the tossers who run their country and those who are so easily led by them.
It must also be said that I have nothing against the British – just a few of the tossers who run their country and those who are so easily led by them.
I also have nothing against Australians…
Well, I could go on – but you get the point.
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Date
20030318
Civil Disobedience
Time
16:28
Those of here in the UK are mostly chilling until the MPs vote, but if you live in the US you may as well act now. If want to know about the plan for coordinated, subtle civil disobedience, then ask by email and I’ll fill you in.
UPDATE – Things did not look good on the vote front this afternoon. The UK peace troops have been mobilised, as the message needs to be delivered with all speed.
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Date
20030318
Time
21:35
Back on deck after a modest, yet wide-ranging adventure.
Two things strike me about my stats today (I’m getting a hammering on a number of fronts). One is the unprecedented number of people searching for Tony Blair’s email address. The other is the surprising number of people seeking to send pretzels to the White House.
(Ah! Here’s why.)
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Date
20030318
Time
22:00
This is it. They’re voting. 165 Labour MPs need to rebel before Tony’s crowd are reliant on votes from the Conservatives.
10:15 – The amendment was defeated by a majority of 179. They’re now out voting on our involvement with the war on Iraq.
10:21 – ‘Lock the doors.’ Here we go…
10:29 – By a majority of 263, the House of Commons has agreed that we should take part in this illegal act of war.
I need a few minutes to write, archive and post. Be right with you.
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Date
20030318
Civil Disobedience
Time
22:50
That’s it. We’re going in.
I refuse to meekly accept this. I do not wish to succumb to a feeling of inevitability.
In short, I am getting off my arse, and I am taking action.
I am not going to stand by and watch my government act illegally without a small amount of complaint.
I’m undertaking and advocating a simple yet powerful campaign of civil disobedience.
It will take but a few minutes of your time. It involves a heady degree of fun. Your time may even be limited to the simple forwarding of the email you can receive by clicking here.
This plan is designed to present a short, sharp shock to the system that has failed us so badly. In the last 12 hours, it has reached an estimated 15,000 people. You next.
If you want to reach out to Tony Blair, this email address will see your message safely delivered to the fax machine in his communications office. Yes, it works (but not on open-to-abuse email systems such as Hotmail).
(BTW, it’s sleepy bo-bos time in the UK soon – but I will be up for a while. Could you sleep?)
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Date
20030318
Time
23:04
I’ve just now received the first report from someone who has actually taken action beyond their desk. It has cheered me up no end. Please keep reports coming in.
There are few ways to track this, so your feedback counts for a lot on this front, too.
I’ll publish as much as I can once we’ve had our wicked way.
Cheers.
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Date
20030319
Time
00:46
Ahahahahahahaha!
Photos! Send more photos!
I’ll show as much as I can, when I can.
I plan on sleeping quite well now. Good work is being done.
Click here for instructions you can follow to become an effective anti-war activist in less than 30 seconds.
I stand ready to copy and paste like a bastard tomorrow morning.
Bloggage may be late as a result.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Etc.
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Date
20030319
Time
08:40
Coconuts kill bus passengers. Submitted to Bus Plunge (your central resource for bus-related disasters).
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Date
20030319
Time
08:50
The most amusing thing about this is that they feel they need to point out who Bill Clinton is.
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Date
20030319
Time
08:52
American forces in the Gulf may have a little trouble getting their shit together.
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Date
20030319
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:54
A crappy ad for DVDs is at No. 1 today with an impressive 56 links. This has happened before and can be put down to ad links placed at this collection dead weblogs as Tripod cleans house. Here’s the explanation from Blogdex.
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Date
20030319
Time
08:58
Your life can be filled with happiness with a little help from The Star Girls From Planet Groove.
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Date
20030319
Fooooooooood Wars
Time
09:02
Heh. To think it all started with Freedom Fries.
Now we have Star Spangled Ice Cream (10% of profits go to ‘charities that support the men and women of the US Armed Forces’, as opposed to the ‘wacko left-wing causes’ supported by Ben & Jerry’s). Oh dear. Flavours include ‘I Hate French Vanilla,’ and that’s about as clever as it gets, really.
A French company is striking back by asking folks to send pretzels to George W Bush. The site is here, but a surprising number of people are turning up at this page at Bloggerheads that I created about a year ago.
Here’s why.
The cat eaters of Cameroon are yet to declare a political affiliation, but it’s only a matter of time I feel.
Oh, while you’re here, you may as well sign this petition to give the Statue of Liberty back to France.
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Date
20030319
Photoshopping
Time
10:07
Renewed interest in The Star Wars Photoshopping Project has set me off again. I was just about to clean all my notes off the wall, too.
This treatment was suggested in one of the forums discussing the many wonders and occasional shortfalls of the gallery.
How did I get all this way without including Blakes 7?
BTW, I’m still looking for a semi-public venue in London to host a ‘real-life’ version of the gallery. Do get in touch if you think you have a useful bit of space and want to class up the joint.
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Date
20030319
Time
11:06
Build a Lego bunker for Saddam. No need to colour-coordinate, but do use double-width bricks where possible so it can withstand the might of the MOAB.
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Date
20030319
Photoshopping
Time
15:03
Boy, am I in a smiling mood today.
I can even feel my hummus returning. My mojo rising…
Yes, it’s war – but right now good things are being done across the globe.
Want to join in? Just ask for details and you can be part of our global campaign of simple yet effective civil disobedience.
You can’t halt the war machine, but you can bring a small corner of it to a grinding halt with surprisingly little effort.
Act quickly. Act quietly. Act now.
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Date
20030319
Time
15:26
Matt quit his job yesterday. Pop on over and be nice to him – just for the hell of it.
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Date
20030319
Time
15:47
Amazon shuts after price error. Hewlett Packard pocket computers were selling at the bargain-basement price of £7.32 (with free UK delivery if you bought more than 4).
UPDATE – Amazon refuses to honour £7 iPaq orders. Well, there’s a big fucking surprise.
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Date
20030319
Time
15:50
London commuters turn to gas masks. A carefully timed scare story about nothing, really.
“We know at least 1,000 people are travelling with respirators every day on the Tube,” erm, says the managing director of Ozonelink, a firm that sells gas masks.
Way to go, guys. Milk that publicity machine while you can.
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Date
20030319
Time
16:32
Has the Iraqi Deputy Prime Minister really defected?
UPDATE – No, he hasn’t. He hasn’t been shot and killed, either.
Has a goverment website actually launched on schedule?
UPDATE – Well, technically, I suppose it has… but it’s more of a small collection of add-on pages than a site.
Here’s the full, government-approved terrorism FAQ for you to enjoy. Basically, you should carry on as normal, keep an eye out for suspicious behaviour and – if anything happens – hide under the bed.
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Date
20030320
Time
05:13
It’s very late (or very early, depending on your point of view).
I’ve been up.
I’ve been watching the news.
I’ve also been out for a bit.
Some reports have been coming in. A new photo, too. Please keep them coming.
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Date
20030320
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:30
Time to start watching the Iraq Body Count – the bombs have started to drop, starting with this ‘decapitation’ attack. I suppose cutting off the head would help some, but I don’t suggest any terrorists try the act against America. Cut Bush’s head off, and I’m 99% sure he would still be able to run around on the White House lawn like a chicken.
BTW, the terror alert remains high, which is a good thing. One step higher and it will give the authorities a great excuse to break up any out-of-control protests. Stay at home, kids. It’s dangerous out there. Too fucking right – and we know where the danger is, too.
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Date
20030320
Time
08:43
Time to roll out some graphic enemy atrocities. You can thank Rupert Murdoch for that one. Ditto for the assertion that protesters back the terrorists. Next time you see me march, be ready to give me a good kicking. I am a friend of the invisible enemy.
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Date
20030320
Time
08:47
Protester falls to his death from the Golden Gate bridge. They’re not sure if he jumped or slipped when hanging his banner. Most likely the latter, unless of course the banner read: ‘Goodbye.‘
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Date
20030320
Time
08:50
White House tractor protest approaches endgame. Before you get excited and dust down your own farm equipment in support, it’s not about the war. It’s about tobacco farmers being forced out of business. What’s that? You still think it’s a good idea?
OK, what the hell. Let loose the tractors. Earth-moving equipment is welcome as well.
(Right now, I’m really wishing that I had taken a ride-on lawnmower to Hyde Park.)
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Date
20030320
Time
08:55
Visit FunJunkie to see a wombat flipping out and destroying everything in sight. Touch little buggers they are – I wouldn’t want to meet an angry one. I saw a wombat and a VW van go head to head on a back highway once. The wombat walked away. The van had to be towed.
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Date
20030320
Time
08:57
Frat boy gets his own Hooters restaurant as a graduation present. See? It’s not all bad.
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Date
20030320
Time
09:00
Perv on some people having plastic surgery.
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Date
20030320
Civil Disobedience
Time
09:02
Remember, if you think this war is illegal and unjust, you can still have your say. History will not treat these leaders kindly. What they’re doing is wrong.
Stand up and say so. Click here for details.
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Date
20030320
Civil Disobedience
Time
15:09
Lots and lots and lots of email has been coming in for ‘Tony Blair’ lately.
Quite a few people want him to see this.
I’m replying to a lot of the negative ones and recruiting them for the civil disobedience campaign. Ah, sweet irony…
We now have operatives across London, all over England, and in many major cities in the United States – and these are just the ones I’ve been in direct contact with. Once the email goes beyond two or three forwards, I have no idea what’s going on.
Be part of something big today. I’m working ever so hard, but still have time to copy and paste details to anybody who asks for them.
A Message for Current Operatives:
Some very entertaining reports have been coming in. I can’t blog these yet, but if you email in and ask I’ll send some your way. Priority will be given to emails with reports of their own and/or any photos.
Also, almost everybody who receives the email comes back describing exactly what they’ve just done or are about to do. I could really do with some feedback that is less specific about actions and more focused on how easy this activity is to do and how good it makes one feel when you actually go out and do something.
Me, I get an enormous kick out it, and sleep better as a result.
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Date
20030320
Attention Co-Conspirators
Time
17:53
I need a printing outfit that is happy to do a large run of very basic material for the cause alone (I think you can guess what the message will be).
I also need volunteers to help distribute said material at Saturday’s march in London.
Emails to the usual address.
UPDATE – Ditto for anyone in America/Australia/etc. who thinks they can sort us out for printing/distribution on any large anti-war march this weekend.
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Date
20030320
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
20:46
—– Original Message —–
From: Saddam Sharon saddamgore@yahoo.com
To : president@whitehouse.gov; tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk
Date : Thursday, March 20, 2003 6:50 PM
Subject: suicide bombers
–> Suicide bombers have been placed on bused in
–> london and newyork and d.c.
–>
–>
–> Do you Yahoo!?
–> Yahoo! Platinum – Watch CBS’ NCAA March Madness,
–> live on your desktop!
Dear Bright Spark,
Congratulations on pulling such a lame stunt. We’re all mightily impressed here, I can tell you.
Now would you mind repeating your little joke to the rest of the class? I’m sure they’d all love to hear it and thank you by return email.
Regards,
Tim Ireland
(on behalf of Tony Blair)
https://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp
PS – No, I don’t Yahoo! – but thanks for asking.
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Date
20030321
It’s War! Because You’re Worth It!
Time
08:38
The White House is vowing a strong retaliatory response after the BBC aired live video of President Bush getting his hair coiffed in the Oval Office as he squirmed in his chair and practiced on the teleprompter minutes before Wednesday night’s speech announcing the launch of military operations.
Funnily enough, there’s no report of it on the BBC site. I’m currently checking around the traps to see if anybody taped it.
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Date
20030321
Time
08:41
Optimus Prime will be helping to fight fires in the Middle East. Finally, some true leadership!
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Date
20030321
Time
08:44
Look at you, you poor thing. It looks like you could do with some cheering up. Here are some man-boobies, and here’s a classic flash video with yet more jubbly udders.
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Date
20030321
Time
08:47
Elderly murder-suicide couple leave behind $200 to pay for cleaning. Blood on the floor, brains on the wall – but they can still teach us young-uns a thing or two about respect.
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Date
20030321
It’s War! Get Your Hand Off It!
Time
08:51
Search terms like ‘britney’ and ‘sex’ have been temporarily knocked off the top spot by searches for ‘war’ and ‘iraq.’
Dutch television stations are easing up on the soft porn to allow time in their schedules to focus on the war with Iraq – but CNN still has time for teen lesbian pop duos.
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Date
20030321
Messenger Spam
Time
08:58
Are you sick of these rotten little buggers popping up at all hours of the day?
Find you how to stop them in a few easy steps here.
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Date
20030321
Time
09:01
Blair calls for unity. He can start by uniting with his own fucking voters.
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Date
20030321
Time
09:03
U.S. senator weeps for his country.
“Today I weep for my country,” said West Virginia Democrat Sen. Robert Byrd. “No more is the image of America one of strong, yet benevolent peacekeeper. … Around the globe, our friends mistrust us, our word is disputed, our intentions are questioned.
“We flaunt our superpower status with arrogance,” Byrd said, adding: “After war has ended the United States will have to rebuild much more than the country of Iraq. We will have to rebuild America’s image around the globe.”
I’ve just written a letter of support to Robert C. Byrd. Maybe you’d like to as well.
(Hey, he speaks his mind, his website needs improving… we may just have a prime candidate for the first senatorial blogger here.)
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Date
20030321
Time
09:12
Do you ever worry about the future and if apes will be our masters? Don’t.
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Date
20030321
Civil Disobedience
Time
09:42
Heh. Somewhere out there is a band who has designed and produced leaflets based on a certain email. They plan to distribute copies at their next gig.
More updates and details to come later today. Right now I’m trying to source a printer to do a run of leaflets containing our message for the march in London tomorrow. If you want to help to distribute these, just drop me a line.
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Date
20030321
Photoshopping
Time
11:21
Here’s a little something to brighten your day.
Gordie’s still a bit shaken up after his encounter with the giant space-leech in the garbage compacter, but he’s ready to confront Vader and tell him to ‘suck my fat one.’
I’m just about to drop this by the Wil Wheaton forums to see if we can’t recruit a few more bods from his neck of the woods.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030321
Civil Disobedience
Time
12:50
I’ve found a printer who can do a run of 16,000 A6 jobbies at short notice and a good price. I’ve got less than an hour to lay my hands on £250.
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Date
20030321
Civil Disobedience
Time
13:38
Nope, we’re going to have to contact the printer and call the whole thing off. A shame, but…
I blogged the following after the million-strong march in London:
Next Time
There were a large number of placards that were abandoned due to slight damage and/or a poor attempt to censor the branding or group affiliation displayed on it. If this situation arises again, I do believe I’ll go armed with some adhesive, a staple gun, and several sheets of A2 to bring said placards back to life with new, unbranded messages at a small recycling centre by the side of the road.
Right now, I’m off to the local post office to enlarge and duplicate what I’ve just made and keep copying until they run out of A3 paper or I run out of cash. I think you can guess what the unbranded message will be.
Now, where did I leave that staple gun?
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Date
20030321
Time
17:28
I’ll be marching in London tomorrow. I urge you to join me. I’ll be the chap by the side of the road cutting paper, sniffing glue and firing 8mm staples at the riot police.
No, I don’t think it’s too late to make a difference. But even if you disagree with that, I think you should march anyway. Because what they’re doing is wrong, and if you don’t speak out this weekend those in power will read and/or use that as a sign of acceptance – so they can do it again if they feel like it.
Besides, when you go on holiday anytime over the next decade and people treat you like scum, you’ll be able to say:
“Oh, I’m not one of those Englishmen! I actually marched against the war! Look, here’s a picture of me marching with a poster that has a kitten on it… Now be a good chap and put down the beach umbrella, hm?”
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Date
20030321
Time
23:57
Sorry, but I’m operating remotely and unable to retrieve any email. Everybody I asked today, and everybody who asked me?
Hi. Hope you’re watching.
That video of Bush being preened before his solemn, sincere and not-at-all-calculated announcement?
The abacus I’m on right now can’t view either format, so you get to see it before I do. Lucky buggers.
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Date
20030323
Time
08:36
I have many, many pictures from yesterday’s march and quite a few stories to tell, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I owe some serious family time today.
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Date
20030324
Time
08:41
I wanted to blog this Baghdad-based blog last week (I think Linus was first in with the link) but felt that it would be a good idea to check its authenticity first. Problem being, every time to I went to check the thing, I got a Gateway Timeout error. Still do.
Happily, Martin has come through with a link to this authenticity check by another blogger and today The Guardian has published extracts from this important blog.
Seems the last post was on Friday. Here’s hoping a microwave bomb fucked up his access, and not the man himself.
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Date
20030324
Time
08:43
Woman dies when watching war on TV. Push the little red button, baby.
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Date
20030324
Time
08:46
UFO watchers claim that US is attacking Iraq because they fear Saddam Hussein will use technology from a crashed alien spaceship. Keep an eye out for live footage of marines with their chests bursting open.
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Date
20030324
Fooooooooood Wars
Time
08:49
French’s Mustard feels it necessary to point out in this press release that the gooey yellow stuff is not French, but is actually named after its creator, R. T. French.
Perhaps they don’t want to get firebombed or hassled by Sun reporters.
BTW, The Sun looks set to do what it does best with a xenophobic flash game. The Sun, as always, stands ready to reveal The Truth to the British Public. Failing that, there’s always pictures of Elizabeth Hurley’s tits to keep the mind focused on what really matters.
Closer attention needs to be paid to Mr Murdoch this week. I’ll tell you more soon.
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Date
20030324
Time
09:01
I’ve got a full report and a bunch of photos from Saturday’s march, but its now 9:00am and time to get some work done. Back soon.
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Date
20030324
Time
15:10
Sorry that took so long. Here’s the report from the march, as promised. I still have a pile of work to do, but I’ll try to answer any emails this afternoon.
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Date
20030324
Photoshopping
Time
20:36
The Star Wars Photoshopping Project has cracked the language barrier again.
Heh. I always get a kick out of that.
Oh, and a certain email has now been translated into Norwegian.
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Date
20030325
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
08:33
Probably us. Yes, while Bush is running around playing Invincible Cop (“I don’t give a damn what the courts say, just give me 48 hours and I’ll crack this case, chief!”) all sorts of distasteful crap is happening. There’s a war on. Lots to see, lots to worry about. Lots of very disturbing news to bury on Page 12.
One thing everyone in the UK should be worried about (but probably won’t read about for some strange reason) is the new communications bill that will, amongst other things, allow Rupert Murdoch to snap up Channel 5 and add terrestrial television to his already overwhelming media armoury. Will Rupert get his way? That looks to be up to the Lords.
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Date
20030325
Time
08:41
Space aliens to be honoured by New Mexico.
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Date
20030325
Time
08:45
British MP: Won’t somebody pleeease think of the animals?
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Date
20030325
Christianity Watch
Time
08:51
Rockforlife.org (a division of the American Life League) offers hardcore teen attitude with a strong anti-abortion message. You can always tell a good teen site, because it offers ‘gear’ instead of ‘clothing.’
The ‘I Survived’ t-shirt is presumably intended for those who have actually crawled out of the bucket.
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Date
20030325
Time
09:02
Australians strip for peace. Again.
Yes, we just like getting naked and/or flashing our bits.
One of the warmest greetings you can give your fellow man in Australia is called a ‘brown eye.’ This is basically mooning, but with spread cheeks. Because of the inherent dangers involved, this salutation is usually directed at a passing car, or from one.
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Date
20030325
Time
09:09
Was I the only one to spot Mohammad Said al-Sahhaf flipping the bird to reporters last night?
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Date
20030325
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:13
The Command Post is a distinctly pro-war ‘collective’ of warblogs. Mind you, most of the info seems to come from Murdoch’s newspapers or the Fox network.
All part of the brave new world of Interwebnet access, I guess.
And the award for first mention of the word ‘warblog’ in Usenet goes to… ?
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Date
20030325
Flash Thingies
Time
09:23
Cheer yourself up with a visit to the Happy Tree Friends website. Fun, laughter and bloodletting for all.
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Date
20030325
Time
09:27
Who are the real leaders and opinion-formers in your office? Email tells the story.
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Date
20030325
Time
09:41
Paypal scam alert. Watch out for fake emails pretending to be from Paypal, and asking for your name, mother’s maiden name, bank account details, password, etc. for ‘verification purposes.’
Paypal aren’t doing nearly enough to warn people about this. Stay alert.
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Date
20030325
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:58
Tom Watson’s weblog just rated a mention in the Washington Post.
I’m learning to pick and choose my fights, and if the best use of my time over the next year or so is arming more politicians with weblogs, then so be it.
It sure beats selling tat, and can only be good for the overall political process.
If you know of an MP or political figure that could do with a weblog, then get in touch. I’ll be doing a fair bit of chasing myself today.
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Date
20030325
Time
13:06
El Reg reports that the Downing St website – amongst others – has been the target of a DoS attack. Those pesky anti-war protesters…
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Date
20030325
Time
17:29
Here’s a picture of me having the time of my life at the Circle Line Party. More images here.
(No, I didn’t meet the naked guy, and I don’t know if he does kid’s parties.)
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Date
20030325
Time
17:36
Personally I find it quite sad that each new ‘answer to Spam’ involves blocking it somehow – because blocking and filtering isn’t really an answer to the problem, just symptomatic relief. The bandwidth still has to bear the overall weight.
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Date
20030325
Time
17:44
Oh dear. This was not at all planned, and is really quite unfortunate.
Still funny, though.
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Date
20030325
Time
18:34
Yellowtimes.org has been forced offline after hosting images of civilian casualties and US POWs.
The Memory Hole still has the goods.
Warning: These are very disturbing images – but nobody said this war was going to be easy. Oh, wait…
(BTW, several people tried to send copies of these images to Tony Blair today.)
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Date
20030325
Photoshopping
Time
21:59
Just a quick dose of reality for you.
Yes, I know it’s offensive, but ask yourself why it’s offensive and you’re halfway there.
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Date
20030326
Time
08:51
Y. Bee Normal was out and about on a protest march in the U.S. (with about 400,000 other people) and wanted to share a few placards messages with us. Armed only with a ‘crummy camera that runs out after 15 pictures,’ Y. Bee went on to write things down on whatever she could find in her purse (Con Ed bill, Bloomingdales bill, etc.).
Here’s the best of the bunch:
EFFECTIVE SIGNS
Bush – See you at the Hague.
Regime change begins at home.
“Loyalty to the Country – always. Loyalty to the Government – when it deserves it.” – Mark Twain
BLUNT SIGNS:
Democrats, Wake the Fuck Up!
They stole the election, now they’re stealing our Democracy.
Shocked and Awed and Pissed Off!
AMUSING SIGNS:
Laura – Control your Monkey!
Mainstream White Guys for Peace.
Stop Mad Cowboy Disease.
MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE:
We are better than this.
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Date
20030326
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:53
Have you noticed any suspicious activity in the area?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030326
Time
08:55
It’s a good day over at romenesko’s.
Truck driver tries to run down protesters.
Animal rights activists protest over kitten-killing ditty.
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Date
20030326
Time
09:00
Police in southwestern China discovered 28 baby girls hidden in suitcases on a long-distance bus and apparently destined to be sold.
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Date
20030326
Time
09:02
Please do not send pornography or pork products to American troops in the Middle East.
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Date
20030326
Time
09:04
I thought dolphins were smarter than this.
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Date
20030326
Time
09:04
Book of the Day, as recommended by FunJunkie.
UPDATE – Thomas had a bit of trouble convincing those in his office that the above book is real. So he showed the non-believers the listing at Amazon. What I found hard to believe was the complete lack of any interesting reviews. Ditto for Amazon UK listing. Get to work, people.
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Date
20030326
Time
12:47
Decode secret messages on government websites.
(Link via TTR2)
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Date
20030326
Time
12:51
The Onion – U.S. Forms Own U.N.
Heh. That’ll sort a few problems out. Oh, and here’s one I made earlier…
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Date
20030326
Civil Disobedience
Time
13:47
A report from one of our operatives, Agent Orange:
“I carried through the Out of Order instructions to the letter last week. Many a railway toilet was rendered out of action. And the coup de grace – I got to Reading Station for the first train out of town to find an empty train waiting at platform one. I put an OOO on the driver’s door…. Shame I couldn’t take a picture.”
I’m thinking we should have an official day of (in)action on the day before April Fool’s Day (Sunday the 30th of March).
Why the day before April Fools Day?
1. This is no joke.
2. If you put stuff up on Sunday night, it stands a much better chance of staying in place throughout the Monday morning rush hour.
All operatives stand by for details. If you’re not on the team yet, click here to join us.
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Date
20030326
Time
15:22
The nude shopping event at the Saxmundham branch of Somerfields was cancelled at the last minute.
Why?
I want some answers, damn it!
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Date
20030327
Michael Moore: The Backslash Begins
Time
08:04
This blog entry outlining a few anti-Moore ideas is charting well on Blogdex and I’ve seen this page questioning the validity of his documentary in a few places this morning.
The best example, however, is this excellent Freudian slip in the page title and headline of an article about his Oscar speech. I think the word they’re looking for is ‘tie-raid,’ isn’t it?
Moore’s tyrant about Bush, war at Oscars shameful.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030327
Time
08:12
Forget all the fuss about dolphins. Morrocco is under fire from within for offering the U.S. 2,000 monkeys trained to detonate land mines.
Right now I’m wondering when they’re going to send in the kittens.
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Date
20030327
Time
08:17
Discover the wonderful world of Alexander Jason, Certified Crime Scene Analyst.
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Date
20030327
Time
08:19
Dominos driver fired for lecturing young girl on patriotism. He saw a ‘Say no to war with Iraq’ sign in her front yard, pulled over and gave her a jolly good talking to. The sign has since been burnt down – and in the end the young girl didn’t even buy a pizza!
You just can’t get good help these days.
And on that note, we bring you this:
7-Eleven Clerk Cleans Out Store During First Night Alone.
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Date
20030327
Time
08:26
Wonder Woman fights crime with ‘new, edgy look,’ complete with short, spiky hair and a camouflage bustier. I suspect the evil bods from marketing have been at work on this one. Normally I wouldn’t mind so much, but she’s running out of places to hide Hostess cupcakes.
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Date
20030327
Time
17:53
Hi folks. Still thinking about that possible day of action – but I have been busy myself today.
All the pictures I’ve got are great, but I’d like to flesh things out and possibly go ‘live’ a bit on this, so any extra images and reports would come in very handy. Send me stuff.
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Date
20030328
It’s War! And There’s Money To Be Made!
Time
08:43
As Tom Watson notes, some wankers have been out and about in the London Underground handing out pamphlets for gas masks. The copy is obscene and misleading in the extreme.
“New York. Bali. Tokyo. Who’s next? Not You!”
Oh, really? There’s a wonderful sentiment in keeping with Britain’s can-do blitz spirit. Fuck everyone else; I’ve got my own arse covered.
The £15 mask is supposed to protect you from Ricin and Anthrax. Given that for Ricin to be lethal someone pretty much needs to walk up to you and spray it in your face, I don’t see what good a paper mask is going to be in such circumstances. The good news is they also have a £150 mask. Pretty neat, huh?
Sure, such products should be made available to people who feel that they need them – but to go on a pamphlet drive in the underground and shove this crap in people’s faces is disgraceful.
The greedy zero-moral fuckers behind this deserve to be charged with giving aid and comfort to the enemy – the enemy in this case being fear.
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Date
20030328
Time
08:44
The Herr Doktor Comic Strip is not at all funny. You have been warned.
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Date
20030328
Time
08:58
The New York Times on Raging Cow:
“As for Dr Pepper/Seven Up, a company spokesman said it might do things differently next time.”
Well, there’s a start. Light dawns on marble head.
You know, I’ve finally worked out what Raging Cow reminds me of – a little boy whose mother has to bribe other children just to get them to turn up to his birthday party (painted smiles cost extra).
While we’re on the subject on bovine belligerence:
Family sues zoo after son is attacked by cow.
People who liked Raging Bull also liked these movies…
And finally…
60-year-old man charged with bestiality after receiving oral sex from a cow and calf at the Canada Agriculture Museum. Cool, a mother and daughter team (every man’s ultimate fantasy), but perhaps next time he should try a more suitable venue.
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Date
20030328
Time
09:02
Do babies automatically go to Heaven?
No.
This happy news was brought to you by The Ultimate Insult.
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Date
20030328
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:06
The Supreme Court Tries Sodomy. Just the once, to see if they like it…
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Date
20030328
Time
09:11
War distracts from Bush’s budget cuts. Guess what? Veterans benefits are for the chop. Way to support the troops, George.
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Date
20030328
Time
09:13
Actually, I’m not too moved by stars against the war or stars for the war. I think most of them should stay out of politics and get on with what they do best: making crappy music and even crappier movies.
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Date
20030328
Time
09:19
American Idol pulls strings to keep U.S. Marine in the running. Patriotism sells, baby.
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Date
20030328
Time
09:21
“Would the gentleman at the back of the tram please stop masturbating? Danke.”
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Date
20030328
Time
09:23
Extreme sport just took a giant leap forward with Wheelbarrow Freestyle.
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Date
20030328
Time
09:26
Former UN weapons inspector Scott Ritter says US defeat in Iraq ‘inevitable’ – but what would he know? Does he provide any cool interactive maps with big arrows on them? No, he doesn’t. Therefore, his argument means nothing to me.
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Date
20030328
Time
09:28
Shark attacks dog, only to be attacked by another dog. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
Be you man or beast, if you live in Australia for long enough, and you will evolve into a very dangerous creature. It’s nature’s way.
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Date
20030328
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
09:33
—– Original Message —–
From: “Darrell Jones”
To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk
Sent: Friday, March 28, 2003 3:22 AM
Subject: Thank You Prime Minister Blair
–>
–> I must say, Prime Minister Blair, you are a
–> truly great leader! Your eloquence and passion
–> in explaining the necessity of the Iraqi War
–> filled my heart with hope & resolve.
–>
–> Thank you, Prime Minister Blair, for standing
–> by America’s side as we both liberate the people
–> of Iraq from oppression!!
–>
–> I would love a signed picture of yourself.
–> That would make my day.
–>
–> Darrell
–>
–> “I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. As
–> you make your requests, plead for God’s mercy upon
–> them, and give thanks. Pray this way for kings and all
–> others who are in authority, so that we can live in
–> peace and quietness, in godliness and dignity. This is
–> good, and pleases God our Savior.”
–>
–> I Timothy 2: 1-3
NOTE : This is one of the few correspondents that I will not be answering by email. Darrell provided a street address y’see, so right now I’m printing out an 8 x 10 version of one of Tony’s better nudes and overlaying a GIF of his signature.
I’m sure Darrell will be thrilled to bits when it arrives by snail mail early next week.
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Date
20030328
You Vill Submit!
Time
11:48
Hurray for hidden porn!
Huzzah for the Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges who claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256.
Thanks, Thomas. Thanks, Paul.
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Date
20030328
Time
12:15
She’s a busy old day today. I’m not sure what I’ll be able to cook up in the way of civil disobedience plans/reports. Keep sending in your stuff, anyway – I may break the rules and let myself near a keyboard this weekend.
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Date
20030328
Time
12:53
This is the best output I’ve seen from a B3tan in a long time. Inspiring stuff. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll start writing letters…
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Date
20030328
Civil Disobedience (contains some kittenage)
Time
16:34
The RSPCA wants the Bonsai Kitten site shut down – even thought they know it’s a hoax.
*sigh*
Well, there’s no official day of action this weekend, folks – but there’s also very little reason to stay at home.
I hear a rail strike is planned for Monday. That certainly narrows the field…
I’ll be out and about on Sunday night for that reason alone. Send reports. Send pictures.
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Date
20030331
Time
08:38
General Motors describes users of public transport as ‘creeps and weirdos. Wouldn’t you rather be a single driver in a Chevrolet Cavalier VL Sedan, hogging the bus lane just to show the riff-raff a thing or two?
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Date
20030331
Time
08:41
Bioseal: the fully adjustable heat-sealed body bag solution.
Maybe these guys should hand out a few pamphlets in the London Underground…
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Date
20030331
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:44
Not a bad Top 5 this morning. In fact, it’s worth listing in full:
1. Blogshares is a tired idea tacked onto blogs and runs mostly off somebody else’s back-end. Oh, and it doesn’t list Bloggerheads. Obviously that’s the only reason I have a problem with it.
2. Takoma the mine-sniffing dolphin is AWOL. Probably out cruising tourist beaches for a little action.
3. US soldiers in Iraq asked to pray for Bush. For he is the power and the glory…
4. The Iraqometer doesn’t have an index to show the current number of dead British journalists or the percentage of ant-war protests involving nudity.
5. Still, nudity is soooo last Tuesday. Die-ins are the new black.
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Date
20030331
Time
09:00
Campaign signs stolen by students. Everybody wants a poster with the name ‘Stoner’ on it, it seems.
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Date
20030331
Time
09:04
Man fatally stabs himself trying to use knife as makeshift Allen wrench.
“He had got the butcher knife, and I told him that the knife wouldn’t work,” said wife Alicia Neal, who asked her husband to tighten the screws on the cot at the centre of this tragedy, “He had to use the Allen wrench.”
Now Alicia, would this be the same Allen wrench you used when you yourself first assembled the cot?
Where exactly did you put that?
I would remind you, Alica, that you’re under oath. And always moving my stuff.
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Date
20030331
Time
09:13
The Dullest Blog In The World may not be much, but it sure beats reality television.
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Date
20030331
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Date
20030331
Time
09:19
Protest vet won’t march against the war because Saddam is evil.
“So if people want to talk about containing [Saddam Hussein] and don’t want to go in forcefully and remove him, how do they propose doing something about the horrors he is inflicting on his people who live in such fear of him?”
Tom Watson made a similar point a few days ago, but it’s not an argument that’s likely to win me over. Especially as I agree with the core concerns.
Yes, it might be easy to dismiss purely on the basis that it’s the latest in a loooooong line of arguments, but I personally believe that Saddam Hussein is an arsehole of the highest order and needs to be dealt with.
Just not by the current government of the United States, is all.
I question their motives, I question their methods, and I strongly object to my government’s involvement in what is turning out to be the defining fuck-up of the decade.
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Date
20030331
Time
09:50
Hooray for Scott, who went marching in Boston on Saturday and hijacked his child’s pram to warn the world of the greatest danger of all.
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Date
20030331
Time
12:03
A new ‘Iraqi’ version of the Nigerian scam spam has started doing the rounds. No, not this one, more like this one:
“By way of introduction I am Eng. Farouk Al-Bashar, I represent my family as the oldest son of the Al-Bashar family, who are the descendants of Ibrahim Al-Bashar Ali from one of the oil rich areas in Iraq. Over the years my family has acquired huge sums of money from royalties for the exploration of oil in our region but over the past 15 years, Saddam Hussein and his gangs of bandits have taken our oils without payments and we can not complain as those who did are all dead. In the wake of the Gulf War of 1990, our family withdrew most moneys that remain in coded bank accounts that Saddam did not find and we hide it in a secret chamber underground, where it remained safe until after the war. At the end of Gulf war, we moved the funds into a private vault of a security company in Baghdad, where it was until we collected it a few days ago on the fear of the eminent war with America.”
They go on to say that they’re ‘afraid that with the capacity of the bombs America is coming to Baghdad with nowhere would be safe for the money,’ so of course that’s your cue to part with personal details, bank details, etc. etc. etc.
