This entry was posted on
Friday, July 18th, 2003 at
9:20 am and is filed
under Uncategorized.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:20
Meet Saint Cloud’s own personal version of Superman. He doesn’t leap over tall buildings, but somewhere in his busy schedule, he does find time to stand on street corners and wave at passing traffic. Quite foolishly, he reveals his secret identity on the site, but because his flatmates Jim and Bern got angry about him publishing their phone number on the site, you can now only make contact (and enquires about possible romance) by email. Visit the photo gallery and leave a comment if you have the time. This man needs your support.

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Date
20030718
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
Fark competition: What would the world be like if everyone bought spammers’ products?

Also, Andy emailed and asked where I’ve hidden my page about photoshopping techniques.

Answer: the link keeps moving because it’s presented at the tail end of the ever-expanding Star Wars Photoshopping Project. I suppose I really should put a link at the front page of the general photoshopping gallery, but in the meantime you can find this semi-educational page by clicking here.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:33
The Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games is a fantastic collection of games and game-related objects. I found the collection of board games based on TV shows the most enlightening. There’s even a M*A*S*H game. There are also a few blank spaces. If you have a unique board game lurking in your attic, the museum gratefully accepts donations.

In fact, I dimly recall buying a Jason Donovan dating board game of some sort a year or so back at a boot sale. I may just wrap it up and send it off to its ultimate destiny.

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Date
20030718
Go Figure
Time
09:41
Tatu are fighting over a boy and Drew Barrymore likes girls.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:43
Man fined for leaving 65 ducks and geese in a motel room. He was a hunter, so you know the story isn’t going to be as fun as it first seems.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
FBI hassles/intimidates man for daring to read this ‘Weapons Of Mass Stupidity’ article in public.

You may want to take a look over your shoulder before reading this report on CIA Director George Tenet’s appearance before members of Congress. Or this one. Mind you, the assertions/admissions he makes conveniently absolve George Bush of everything but stupidity, so perhaps you should make the effort to read something more subversive.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:58
Man commits suicide after girlfriend falls in love with his online alter ego. Tim better watch out. I’ve had my eye on his wife for years…

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Date
20030718
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback
Time
11:06
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback

Our mystery donor is a new reader by the name of Mirjam.

She emailed me a while back, but I must admit to completely forgetting her name in the hustle and bustle of the last two weeks.

Mirjam doesn’t have a website (yet) and operates from an undisclosed location in the North Sea, so I’m going to ask you to instead send some positive vibes via the following sentence. Please concentrate on it as hard as you can and picture wonderful things happening to her:

Today, I want something magical to happen to Mirjam

Right, karma addressed, let’s get down to business…

Click here to sponsor me for the 2003 Blogathon!

Over the 24 hours of the Blogathon, I’ll be answering 48 questions from readers. I’m still quite a few questions short of the target.

Click here to submit a question by email!

To give you a taster, I’m going to answer a general question Rod sent in this morning:

Q: How do I develop a link format that will generate more traffic? Does this question even make sense?

A: That’s actually two questions, but I’ll let it slide just this once. A good example of a link generation tool is the quiz format (used by many bloggers and webmasters to promote their site).

This format was investigated in the early days of Bloggerheads with Which M*A*S*H Character Are You?

This quiz has reached approximately 100,000 individual visitors over the last year or more and is still being discovered by between 100-200 new visitors each and every day.

You may also note that the ‘cut and paste’ code format has been used on a number of campaigns here at Bloggerheads, from the overt request for link whorage as part of the Raging Cow campaign to the more subtle inclusion of the ‘cut and paste’ feature in the recent campaign to get senators blogging.

However – and here’s the tricky bit – you need to provide some pretty solid motivation for people to actually take the trouble to include such a link on their website. In fact, most of the inbound links to Bloggerheads or bits and bobs created here have managed to crop up without the aid of this small tool of convenience. Good examples being The Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby, which contain no referral mechanisms and simply earn inbound links on the strength of the content alone.

So, the link format itself is easy enough to create (the code is pretty common and easy-to-understand stuff), but what will really drive its success is the very content it is meant to drive traffic to.

Is it interesting? Is it original? Is it something people are going to want to share?

That should be your main focus.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
11:16
Earlier this week, Dr David Kelly denied being the BBC’s primary source regarding this governments sexing-up of the dodgy dossier. Yesterday, he went missing. Today, a body has been found.

I can’t do better than quote Mark on this:

“Gentlemen, start your conspiracy theories!”

UPDATE – Actually, this has now been topped by The Boozehound, who linked to this story with the following:

“COUGH*assasinated*COUGH”

I’ve instructed a few folks nearby to follow this link and refresh often, so they can watch this spread through the blogosphere. Linkage on Blogdex bears watching, too. It should top the chart within a few hours.

UPDATE – The image of Alastair the Assassin seems to have struck a chord. It’s front page at B3ta.com (precise link for archive purposes is here) and Wibbler has also been nice enough to give it a fully credited airing.

An hour after its creation, it’s also No.2 on the Lycos new release chart, just under this quite cool flash game: Gravity Ball.

Note to Piers Morgan: Ask me nicely. I may surprise you.

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Date
20030718

Time
13:01
I’m trying to keep mention of Tim Yeo to a minimum on this blog, because now the man has a weblog completely dedicated to him, there’s no point boring you with bits and bobs here day after day.

I would like to point out, however, that the Tim Yeo Weblog has now cracked the top sport for searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google.

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Date
20030718

Time
14:47
More on Dr Kelly and the body that may or may not be his:

CNN | Guardian Timeline | Independent | Viewer views from Sky News

If the body is confirmed to be Dr Kelly’s, wouldn’t it be odd if the time of death was established as being sometime during Blair’s speech to Congress?

UPDATE – Kelly: Blair promises public inquiry from plane out of Washington. And (ahem) ‘Alastair Campbell, who usually travels with Mr Blair, is not on the plane.’

And… ‘A man may have died as a result of the government’s contempt for one of the cornerstones of democracy – a free and independent press.’

I wonder how much email Andrew ‘high court of parliament’ MacKinlay is getting today…

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Date
20030718

Time
16:17
One for the conspircay theorists: Eleven microbiologists mysteriously dead over the span of just five months. Possibly twelve.

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Date
20030718

Time
16:36
Today we have at least one visitor from the Australian Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry. Welcome.

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Date
20030718
Tony Blair’s Email – Not Long Now
Time
16:58
Remember those specifications I wrote up for a viable email facility for Tony Blair?

Well, take a look at what they’ve just introduced for George Bush:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/webmail

They’ve put a fair amount of filtering on the front end, and a few people are bitching about that (link requires registration), but I think the level of demand warrants it.

Still, with such a thing, there should be a facility that allows people to suggest a new subject/category, even if they don’t send an email.

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Date
20030718

Time
17:20
David Kelly: And herrrrrrrrrre comes the media!

Wibbler.com tells us that Jon Snow got a bit ahead of himself when he opened the afternoon news on Channel 4 with:

“MoD ‘mole’ missing – body found: Did he take his own life? Was he killed, did he die of a heart attack?”

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Date
20030719

Time
23:58
I was kind of expecting it, but this announcement really hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s the saddest I’ve felt for a person in a very long time.

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Date
20030720
A Blog Is Born
Time
00:02
It’s always interesting to happen across a blog just as it gets going. Especially one that links you favourably at its inception. You can’t help but wonder exactly what it is that you’ve started.

I’m not entirely sure where this one came from or where it’s going, but it does intrigue me.

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Date
20030721

Time
09:29
1am

Total blackout.

Torches aren’t easy to find, as some recent work on the kitchen cabinets means that nothing is where it is supposed to be.

I call directory enquiries:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hello, we’ve got a bit of a blackout here. Is there a hotline number for Seeboard Energy?”

“Yes.”

“Could you possibly connect m*

click

“The. Number. Is. 0. 8. etc.”

I lay my hands on what I assume to be a pen and scribble down the number, deciding to worry later about what I’m actually writing on and whether or not I’ll be able to read the number when I eventually lay my hands on a torch. That done, I wait to get reconnected:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hi. Lady, it’s pitch black here. I was lucky to find the telephone at all. Next time someone calls to ask for a hotline number during a blackout, and they ask to be connected, could you maybe connect them, please?”

“I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. But if you call…”

(Woman begins to rattle off long phone number as I hang up in disgust…)

Late night. Long night.

I’ll be on deck and blogging soon.

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Date
20030721
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:30
I was ejected from a plane for wearing “Suspected Terrorist” button.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:01
Another blackout. My site is served locally, so your mileage may vary today.

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Date
20030721
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
12:02
This Backbench bloggers article headed in the wrong direction the moment it referenced Howard Dean (who, despite having a pretty good story to tell, is not the best example of a blogging politician).

Still, it repeats a few good key points, so it is worth a look.

Also, the Yorkshire Post got all uppity about political blogs on the 17th. They suggested that instead of wasting time online, MPs should concentrate of more ‘genuine’ forms of direct communication. I’d link to the article, but there isn’t a copy online. Make of that what you will, or check out Richard Allan’s weblog for some comments on this.

Finally, with many folks running for cover and many more yelling to heard above the overwhelming din of media speculation surrounding the shocking death of Dr David Kelly, I’d just like to say that it’s refreshing to be able to read a personal reaction that hasn’t been reduced to a series of soundbites.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:03
Sign this. You’ll feel better.

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Date
20030721
Photoshopping
Time
12:03
I had a cracker of an idea for a Photoshopping project last night, just before the lights went out. I was watching one programme while listening to the soundtrack of another.

I’m going to poke around for source images today, but keep the theme under my hat until the weekend (I’d like to roll the majority of material out as part of this weekend’s Blogathon).

1. You’ll be happy to hear that it’s nothing to do with Star Wars

2. The more sponsorship I get, the more images I’ll produce.

I’ll probably drop a teaser sometime in the next few days. Watch this space.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:10
I’m still trying to work out what this is all about. Let’s see what they post today and go from there.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:11
I have a small technical problem with email at the mo. They’re coming in fine, but not all of them seem to be allowed to go out and play.

So, if you’ve emailed me recently and I haven’t answered – that’s probably why.

BTW, I still need more questions for the Blogathon this weekend. Ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads? Click here to ask.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:14
Judge places slum lord under house arrest – in her own dilapidated, vermin-infested building.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:15
BBC: Can blogs be truly mainstream? Some great reader comments at the tail. A highlight:

“The great thing about blogs is that anyone can set one up. The only problem is that anyone can set one up.”

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Date
20030722

Time
09:18
Are you a Transformers collector? Do your friends make fun of you? Do you have any friends? Worry ye not, for it has been declared that collecting Transformers is cool – just look at all the sexy babes that are into it.

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Date
20030722
Flash Music Video
Time
09:21
Shii’s song. Please try not to cry or throw heavy objects at your screen.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:22
Man arrives at DMV for driving test and crashes into building. His licence was immediately revoked.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:25
Take a closer look at the London Underground. The original map, the current map, and how the system really looks.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:27
More reactions to the new email system for George Bush. Hope this negative press doesn’t make the communications team at Downing St too jumpy. I’m looking forward to that promised August delivery date.

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Date
20030722
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:29
“I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of Iraq.” – U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz

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Date
20030722

Time
09:31
Man convicted of intimidation after mailing raccoon head to school principal.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:32
The best weblogs contain at least a small measure of personal expression. Here’s a jolly good example.

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Date
20030722
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:34
Bloggers Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History. Actually, that should read ‘Right-Wing Nutbags Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History.’

Patton’s in there, and Ronald Reagan ties for 1st place.

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Date
20030722
Christianity Watch
Time
09:51
You may remember me mentioning my rather eclectic religious upbringing. One part of this was growing up opposite a Baptist church. Convenient for Sunday School but boy, did they lay it on thick.

It was a very conservative church (they used Ribena for communion), but they had a kid’s corner that was well-stocked with religious comic books. Most of all, I remember the Christian Archie comics, but there were also comic versions of books like ‘The Cross and the Switchblade’ (featured the all-time best comic book cover speech bubbles of all time):

“I could cut you up right now, preacher!”

“Yes you could, Johnny, and every piece of me would still love you…”

This collection is far from comprehensive, but when it does feature a book, it features the entire book (in PDF format). Quite heavy on the bandwidth, but if you have the time and capacity you should check out at least one of these.

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Date
20030722
Follow Up
Time
09:54
Search for ‘chilham sports cars’ in Google and chilhamsportscars.com (see archived entry for last Thursday) is in the top spot. Now we watch and wait for the fur to start flying, I suppose.

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Date
20030722
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
Recently declassified intelligence report from Oct 2002 says defeated Hussein would be a threat.

“Saddam, if sufficiently desperate, might decide that only an organization such as al Qaeda, . . . already engaged in a life-or-death struggle against the United States, could perpetrate the type of terrorist attack that he would hope to conduct,” reads one passage.

Let’s pretend for a moment that Iraq did indeed have WMDs.

1. Why didn’t he use them?

2. Where did they go?

Oops.

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Date
20030722

Time
10:04
In reaction to the “What Would Jesus Drive?” campaign, a pro-SUV group is launching its own ads celebrating plus-size vehicles. Basically, they’ve found a large and reasonably photogenic man by the name of Jesus. Dear Lord, give me strength…

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Date
20030722
Video
Time
10:08
Normally I shy away from overtly commercial work, but this mickey-take of the Honda commercial earns a laugh.

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Date
20030722
Photoshopping
Time
12:13
“Attention! All personnel!”

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Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Test your psychic powers.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Enjoy some really bad book covers.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:14
These scratchy, distorted screen captures from M*A*SH seem to have been grabbed from film, but they’re worth seeing just for that top image of Hawkeye waking up from a nightmare. Klinger praying is a cracker, too. Hell, it’s almost art.

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Date
20030723
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
No. 1: Saddam’s killed in northern city of Mosul. A similar item from Fox News snuggles in at No. 2

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Date
20030723
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:20
The BBC has a tape of scientist Dr David Kelly expressing concern about the way Iraq weapons intelligence was presented. Here’s hoping the inquiry is allowed to follow its obvious and natural course.

Alos caught on tape… these Democrats talking about prolonging California’s budget crisis for political gain. There’s quite a busy thread over at Fark about this if you’re up for it.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:25
Amazon has a bold new plan to digitise “tens of thousands” non-fiction books and make the text searchable (requires registration). Looking for that elusive passage or quote? Here’s the result, courtesy of Amazon. Now, how many copies would you like? Shades of IMDB there, here’s hoping they can carry it off.

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Date
20030723
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Have you ever wanted to tell someone about Jesus but just didn’t know where to begin? Why not share the gospel of Jesus through surveys?

The survey they provide really puts its best foot forward. First question:

1. Do you believe that abortion is acceptable?

(A) Yes (B) No

However, it does contain a great question to use down at the pub:

10. Name two people who walked on water in the Bible.

I must admit to forgetting that Peter popped out for a quick stroll as well.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:37
Couple accused of abuse after driving 20 miles with two boys in the trunk/boot.

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Date
20030723
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:39
The Dallas Morning News has launched a group blog for the editorial board.

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Date
20030723
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:42
Thanks go to princess erin the mighty for her kind sponsorship. The wonderful princess erin was an early and effective activist during The ‘Out Of Order’ Project. She was the one who marked the office stationary cupboard ‘out of order.’ Sheer genius.

If you haven’t done so already, click here to sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

From 2pm GMT on Saturday, I’ll be rolling out 24 hours of glorious photoshopping (on a theme that is currently highly classified) and answering (hopefully) 48 questions about me, Bloggerheads, or stuff that’s been done here over the last year or so. I’m still short of questions, so if you’ve ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads, click here to email me your query today.

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Date
20030724
In The Courts
Time
09:00
Man accused of killing his wife by stabbing her 43 times claims it was self-defence. O-kay…

Porn case film sends juror to sleep. The judge has declared a second mistrial on the case, but perhaps he’s just looking for an excuse to play the film again…

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Date
20030724

Time
09:04
Cartoon of Bush with gun to his head investigated as a possible threat. Relax, the bullet is sure to pass from one side to the other without hitting anything vital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:07
Scientists are developing a mind-controlled wheelchair. Where’s my silver jumpsuit and flying car? I wish these guys would get their priorities sorted.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:09
Psychic fails to detect undercover investigator. The investigation was started after a woman complained that she had been diddled out of $20,000 in cash and gifts.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:11
Deep links are legal in Germany.

While we’re poking around El Reg, this is kind of related:

Here’s someone else expressing doubts about the influence of bloggers. I think he’ll find his results are pretty temporary. Unless everyone starts talking about it, of course…

The playing field will level out when businesses (finally) realise that this is a two-way communications channel and merely speaking to us like human beings can significantly improve their standing in Google.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:17
Young, single and gifted? Why waste your time consorting and breeding with the lower castes when goodgenes.com stands ready to match you with a partner of equal standing?

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Date
20030724

Time
09:20
Man drives 30km holding almost severed head in place. Would have been great if he’d been pulled over…

While we’re on the roads, read about the man who died by getting run over by a van and then suffering a crash when that same van was driving him to hospital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:22
Man dies, taking vital network passwords to the grave. This has happened before, and I’m sure I blogged it.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:29
Michael Jackson says that illegal downloaders should not face jail and this female Michael Jackson impersonator looks like Donny Osmond.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:32
Today is National Shopping Day here in the UK. The Guardian’s come on board with this write up, and I’m currently doing by best to deal with the choice of Melinda Messenger as the poster child for this shop-a-thon. Still:

1. The campaign isn’t aimed at hardcore cynics like me, it’s meant to reach the frightened bunnies that regard the beige monster in the corner with a mixture of suspicion and fear.

2. At least Carol Vorderman isn’t involved.

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Date
20030724
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:39
A mysterious being known as Penfold74 has kindly joined my list of sponsors. Thank you!

Get your questions in for the Blogathon! (Ask anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads.)

Sponsor me for the Blogathon!

I’ll be watching The Swamp very closely during the Blogathon, for reasons I’m sure you are beginning to suspect.

Oh, thanks to ickle for the rather dodgy photoshop. Close, but no banana, sorry.

You wait until you see this new theme. Yes, M*A*S*H is involved, but I’ve added a new twist to make the work truly, truly wondrous. It will blow your mind.

You’ll smile, you’ll laugh, you’ll swallow. I guarantee it.

Finally, if you’re in two minds about sponsoring me, may I suggest that you don’t? Tom Watson is doing something much more interesting and worthwhile on the day, so you should probably throw a few bucks his way instead.

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Date
20030725
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:53
‘Blogs’ shake the political discourse. I got a heads-up about this yesterday from Wibbler, too.

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Date
20030725

Time
08:55
And you thought Raging Cow was, like, totally extreme? Hah! Nobody does flavoured milk promotion like the Latvians. Check out Crazy Milk. Erm, to the max. Or something.

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Date
20030725

Time
08:59
Martin’s had a rough day, but he still takes the time to make me blush. What a sweetie.

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Date
20030725
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:00
Bill Clinton on Bush Iraq/uranium claim:

“You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.”

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Date
20030725

Time
09:03
Miss Norway sent to wrong city – in wrong country – for Miss Universe final.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:07
Shaving Industry Lies claims that women’s razor’s are sharper than mens, and even goes so far as to suggest how you can make such a razor seem more butch. (So you can use one without people laughing at you. In your bathroom.) Attaching plastic army figures seems like a good start, but perhaps you can do better.

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Date
20030725
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Music: You’re cracking my eggs!

Games: Clay KItten Shooting

Enjoy.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:12
The Guardian explores the global mind. I’m a big believer in global consciousness. I even have an insane notion that Jerusalem is (or was) some form of magnetic pole for this kind of activity.

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Date
20030725
‘Is That Real?’ Etc.
Time
09:16
Mormons! Quality and value await at missionarymall.org! Suits, ties, and accessories galore! (Note: they don’t sell bikes online, but there is a competition that gives you a chance to win one…)

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Date
20030725

Time
09:20
Man charged with petty larceny after stealing pizza, chicken and hot dogs from sister’s freezer.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:33
Ahahahahahahahaha!

The political diarist at The Guardian fell for it. The Mirror fell for it. The Financial Times was also sucked in (and even managed to get the URL wrong along the way). The BBC almost fell for it, but I wasn’t expecting this…

Someone at Private Eye has seen Tom’s Teens page (presumably sometime before we added the commentary at the bottom of the page to help the addled of mind or slow of wit) and fallen for it hook, line, sinker, rod and copy of Angling Times.

One for the scrapbook. Like many other print publications, they’ve also quoted the page in full (without permission).

Right now, I’m wondering if I should write up my first letter to Private Eye – or my first invoice.

UPDATE – Oh, you may also wish to do a quick search for ‘teens politics’ in Google.

UPDATE 2 – Here’s the reaction to this over at B3ta.

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Date
20030725
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:48
Scott has been kind enough to chip in with a donation, as has one of my government informants, who wishes to remain anonymous. Another chap has emailed wondering if he can make an anonymous donation. Easy enough to do. When you sign up to donate via the link below, you’ll be presented with the option to remain anonymous if you wish:

Sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon!

Looking at my Blogathon folder, I see 14 emails waiting for me. Unless they contain emails with multiple questions (I’m not letting myself look until tomorrow) we seem well short of the target of 48 questions.

Submit a question to be answered during the Blogathon!

Anything you like, really. Something you’ve wondering about Bloggerheads, about me, or about anything that’s been built and featured here.

Apart from the (hopefully) long list of questions answered, there will also be a total of 12 photoshops on a central theme scattered across the 24 hours of bloggage.

The front page will get too heavy if I start throwing images up as well as a lot of text, so said photoshops will be featured over at the B3ta messageboard with direct links to each thread posted here for easy access.

OK, that’s it. See you tomorrow, 6am Pacific Time, 2pm GMT.

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Date
20030725
Follow Up
Time
14:39
I blogged a while back that Star Wars Kid had a law suit in the offing, and this link about it at the BBC is all over the place today. A pity the BBC couldn’t be arsed to provide a link to the original article, though.

The four teenagers named in the suit are Michaël Caron, François Labarre, Jérôme Laflamme and Jean-Michel Rheault.

I’m not going to spend the rest of the afternoon hunting them down, but I did find this Jérôme Laflamme, who lives in Charlesbourg (not far from the home town of Star Wars Kid). Unless Jérôme Laflamme is the French equivalent of John Smith, it looks like a pretty fair bet.

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Date
20030725

Time
14:57
Coca-Cola in India accused of leaving farms parched and land poisoned.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: How to you keep up with the fresh info?
Time
13:56
If you take a look over to your left, you’ll see links to a range of communities, weblogs, weblog aggregators, and link/info portals. I start each and every morning by clicking down my navigation bar and opening each and every one of these in a new window. I’ll then view and blog from these sites pretty much anything that I think regulars would be interested in. If I’m feeling keen, I’ll scan lower down the Blogdex charts to see if anything new is climbing. Technorati gives me a nice snapshot of who’s linking to me on any given day, and this is proving to be a valuable source of fresh links. (Blogs that show an interest in me also show an interest in things than I’m interested in. Interesting, no?)

Cruising the B3ta messageboard always brings up few titbits here and there, as does the usual image surfing that goes into photoshopping. I primarily use Google Image Search for this kind of thing, and because I’m seeking out a specific image or type of image, I’ll dig much deeper into the results than I would with a standard text search. This brings up some wonderfully random sites sometimes.

Finally, people who don’t have weblogs or sites of their own send me email if they discover something new or exciting and want to share the discovery.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #1
Time
14:00
OK, here’s the first image, as promised. The theme came to me when I was listening to The David Arnold Project and (kind of) watching M*A*S*H.

There’ll be one Bond/M*A*S*H mix-up posted here each hour on the hour until sometime around 1am GMT. After this, we’ll just have to see what comes to me in my addled state.

I don’t want to make the front page too heavy, so sometimes a link will feature instead of the image.

Click here to see a large version of this image over at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who will you vote for at the next election?
Time
14:25
Hehehe – I bet you can all guess who asked this question.

My local MP is doing a great job, and has even taken the time to ask a question in parliament on my behalf. Her name is Sue Doughty, and she can pretty much count on my vote at the next election.

I would think, however, that in my particular case politicians should be more concerned about which member or party campaign I work for. Or against. (Tim Yeo, I’m looking in your direction…)

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Date
20030726
FAQ: How can I search the archives?
Time
15:04
You can’t. Sorry about that. I like this format, as it automatically hides my archives from Google (‘Thou shalt not pollute or corrupt search engines’). I’ve been thinking for a while about converting to Movable Type (and hiding the archives with noindex/nofollow tags) but it would take at least 6-8 solid weeks to migrate the old archives to the new system.

Perhaps if I win the lottery tonight, I’ll take those 6-8 weeks off work, or hire a few monkeys with typing experience.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #2
Time
15:05
He has a thriving practice in Fort Wayne… and a fish tank worth One! Million! Dollars!

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What is the point? It is the most totally pointless experience I have ever seen!
Time
15:20
You’ve just answered your own question. Thanks. Now I have time to eat a late lunch.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What do you read?
Time
16:02
Apart from lots and lots websites, you mean?

I read Private Eye and The Week without fail. I get The Guardian delivered on Mondays and Thursdays (mostly for the New Media and Online sections) and I read The Independent over breakfast on Saturdays and Sundays.

Books are harder to nail down, because I read all sorts of garbage. My favourite author would have to be Douglas Adams. My favourite book is Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell.

I don’t sleep well if I drop off reading a book, so I usually read graphic novels when I’m in bed. Batman, Sandman, etc.

From Hell is the best graphic novel I’ve read in the last year, but my favourite remains The Dark Knight Returns.

Oh, and I’m not at all ashamed to admit that I still enjoy Viz, but only because it’s suitably (and increasingly) expensive.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #3
Time
16:04
“Are you looking for casualties?”

“No. I’m just looking.”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: OK, so who really did sing Underneath The Mango Tree in Dr No?
Time
16:22
Monica Van der Syl did the voice dubs for Ursula Andress, but the singing was done by Diana Coupland (see: Bless This House). Oh, and the soundtrack released in 1962 actually features Connery have a crack at this same song.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you still get email for Tony Blair?
Time
16:51
Yes.

The volume has decreased greatly since the campaign started, but a few people still slip through the net each day. Oh, and some Russian dipweed has this address on a spamming list.

Here are two emails addressed to Tony Blair that arrived yesterday:

From: Esther Ku

Subject: Please leave Isreal allone.

Body: We strongly demand that Israel be allowed to determine her destiny without foreign design forcing its hand.

From: Jafar Seraj

Subject: I will do anything for in iran!!!!!!!!

Body: I am an 18 years old boy from shiraz-iran. Living in iran is very hard. Our family is under pessure and we need about 40000$. I also like to come to you & join to you & be one of your good men. Can you help me ?. I need money very much if you can pay me I will give you an account number. I am looking forward for your agree answer.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #4
Time
16:54
“Flattery will get you nowhere… but don’t stop trying!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you live off your books?
Time
17:30
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*(breeeeeeeeeeeeeathe)*ahahahahahahahaha!

Erm, no. I make my money just like everyone else in new media – through amateur pornography.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Where’s this novel you keep promising us?
Time
17:53
Heh. I knew someone would ask about this.

Still in my head, I’m sad to say. Every character, every set piece and the path of the plot that sews them together has been bouncing around up there for months now. I did get some writing done on my recent Dead Blog Holiday, but I haven’t done a heck of a lot since then.

UPDATE – Just poked my nose out into the hall, and yes, the laptop I use for this does have a thin layer of dust on it. Why the laptop? Well, I know that if I sit down at this computer and start on it, then nothing else will get done until it’s finished. And I need to eat.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #5
Time
18:04
BJ Bond.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who is your favourite gay icon?
Time
18:26
That’s an interesting question. I wonder if it relates to my correspondence with Cherie Blair…

Hmm, let me see… I’m tempted to name Harry Potter or Bob The Builder, but as a considerable amount of courage is required to express a taste for anything but vanilla, I’ll have to pick the one man brave enough to walk off the job and express his desire to become a lumberjack!

PS – Thanks to TTR2 for the sponsorship boost that just came through.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What… is your favourite colour?
Time
18:54
Heh. Cute. And it is blue.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #6
Time
18:54
BJ vs. Jaws

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What music do you listen to?
Time
19:25
I like a lot of older Australasian bands because I’m an older Australasian.

Australian Crawl, Cold Chisel, Mental as Anything and Split Enz are some perennial favourites. I don’t think I’d be able to name one favourite song, but if I could it would probably be one of the following:

Razor’s Edge – Goanna

When The War Is Over – Cold Chisel

I’m Gonna Release Your Soul – Dave Graney

You Gotta Know – Supergroove

Mountain – Chocolate Starfish

An American Trilogy – Elvis Presley

Beyond the Blue Horizon – Michael Nesmith

On Earth As It Is In Heaven – Ennio Morricone

In the last half-hour, the two songs I enjoyed the most were, Don’t Stop Believing and Science Fiction Double Feature.

The most promising unsigned artists I know of are Anthony Snape and the irrepressible Koit.

Enough?

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Does Tim Yeo know you exist?
Time
19:52
Yes. In fact, even if he hadn’t been spotted peeking at the Tim Yeo Weblog by a number of spies inside parliament, there’s still the small matter of naughty images being circulated by his colleagues on a regular basis. He’s just a stubborn cuss is all. He’ll probably apologise when he realises that I mean what I say about stalking him right up until the next election. And beyond. This ain’t over yet.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #7
Time
19:56
“The name’s Pearce. Hawkeye Pearce.”

Click here to see the mightily big version over at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Daddy or chips?
Time
20:30
Chips are The Daddy!

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who would you like to spend 8 weeks with in the Big Brother house? (You can have up to 6 others.)
Time
20:58
Oooh, can I? Thanks ever so much:

Willie Aames

Jack T. Chick

Kenneth Copeland

David Icke

and

Kristin Johnson (just in case)

Final choice would be a toss-up between Chris Morris and Mark Thomas.

Are you sure I can’t have seven?

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #8
Time
21:00
“He did what to the Aston Martin?”

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Date
20030726

Time
21:28
FAQ: Is Mrs Ireland buying “but it’s for charity, dear” as an excuse for spending 24 hours in front of the ‘puter?

“I was, before all of the rubbish with getting three noisy, rowdy children in to bed rapidly changed my mind!!!!!!! Now, I’m not so sure…”

Mrs Ireland

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Date
20030726

Time
21:38
Well, isn’t this a suprise?

Naked women safari hunt ‘was hoax’

Michael Burdick was the man behind it, and now the Mayor of Las Vegas wants his butt in a sling.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: You’ve mentioned in the past that you used to be a DJ. Did you have some of those lights that flashed in time with the music?
Time
21:58
What, you mean like this? Heh. Yes, I did. And when you dropped one of these in 1989, it cost $24 just to replace the bulbs.

I carried around the standard kit for about two years on weekends (I seemed to spend forever doing weddings at The Sebel Town House). On weekdays, I got to go out and play with a 2000W sound system, complete with a massive lighting rig (par cans, giant mirror ball, alligator, helicopters, scanners and strobes, all hooked up on 18 feet of lightweight truss) and a huge video screen. A pity it mostly went to waste on school kids requesting Milli Vanilli.

Once I hit nightclubs, I usually had a light rig big enough warrant an assistant (altogether now – wooooooooooo) but my main weakness was for screens, because I mostly played music video.

The best club I ever worked in was Dave’s Place in Taren Point, NSW. A fun, no-hang-ups crowd, great staff, all the beer and/or XLR8 I could drink… and TV screens as faaaaar as the eye could see.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #9
Time
22:00
“No, Mr Pearce. I expect you to die!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you think you’ll make the full 24 hours?
Time
22:27
That’s a very good question. Just one post every half-hour takes a lot of keeping up. Thank Dog I did most of my images collation for the 4007th Project ahead of time, or I’d be a complete wreck and 12 posts behind by now.

Image-surfing takes a lot of time on a modem, so I’m not sure how much photoshopping there’s going to be after 1am (when I run out of source images). Added to this, my FTP access does have a tendency to drop out on Sundays, it’s going to very much be a case of ‘wait and see.’

Hm.

I think that – if I do make it – it’s going to have to be with much shorter answers.

I’m also a little worried about that time beyond the wee small hours. I always get a bit manic when the only thing holding me up is adrenalin.

(Hey, how about that? You get two answers for the price of one here!)

FAQ: How did you get the nickname ‘Manic’…?

See above.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What gave you the idea for starting Bloggerheads?
Time
23:01
Nothing, really. The technology was there to better do what I normally did (boy, it is getting late, isn’t it?), so I grabbed it.

Before this I pumped acres of stuff into Usenet, ran a newsletter for another.com (tell you what, the first person who sends me a copy of a genuine another.com newsletter by Evil Tim wins a free book) and then did reporting on stuff that was buzzing about for Zingin.com (which has since given birth to The Friday Thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #10
Time
23:04
“Look up! Look Down! Look Out!”

Click here to see the big one at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What was your first attempt at viral marketing, and did it work or just show you what NOT to do?
Time
23:33
Offline, my first attempt was when I was about 12. I took rolls of those small yellow ‘dot’ stickers and cut wedges out of each one until I had strips and strips of miniature Pac-man stickers for distribution. I had most of the kids in my class wearing them for about a week – then it was back to the beatings.

Online, I’m not entirely sure. But this page from 1998 is still live and doing good work. As you can probably tell, I had yet to discover the wonders of Photoshop (or even anti-aliasing, for that matter).

Given time, I may be able to fire up the old beast and rustle up a screengrab of my first-ever site. In fact, I’ll do this the moment I get a new sponsor on board.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: How many people read your site every day?
Time
00:01
On a good day, I reach about 1,000 people before breakfast. At slower times, it takes me most of the day to reach this many people.

There are about 200 regular readers (people who come back each and every day). Today, 167 of them have showed up.

I did a major traffic rundown on my first blog birthday, and I’ll probably repeat it again this year.

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Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #11
Time
00:02
“As you can see, I’m going to inaugurate a little war.”

Click here to see a massive version at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you running out of questions yet?
Time
00:30
Yes. I may have to start talking to myself soon – or scanning through some of Tony’s mail for a few.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Where do you stand on file sharing, e.g. people downloading music without paying for it?
Time
01:02
I want to send a copy of Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols to a musician who hasn’t heard it. I can and will do it by MP3. I paid for the CD, and the file is being exchanged for reference purposes only because…

I want to do a parody of the track. I’d be producing something genuinely transformative that comments on the original work/artist. I can and would do that.

However…

Just as I wouldn’t want that resulting work lifted then distributed without my consent, I wouldn’t do this same thing to another artist.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #12
Time
01:04
Here’s the last of the 4007th photoshops:

“Goodbye, Farewell and Etc.”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Where did the tortoise / military helmet come from?
Time
01:25
It’s a turtle, not a tortoise. There used to be a peaceful, swimming turtly stamp thing up there, but I sourced a tougher turtle and slapped the Full Metal Jacket ‘Born To Blog’ helmet on there when I started getting more militant. I’ve been thinking about phasing it out and making an overdue return to fluffiness, but:

1. I need to raise about $100 to pay the photographer of the picture I really, really want and I’ve been well-short of silly money lately.

2. There’s still quite a lot to be angry about.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you drunk yet?
Time
01:33
I am getting there, but I have to pace myself for obvious reashons.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Every Aussie I know is able to drink like a fish the night before and be fine, nay, *better* than normal in the morning. How *do* you buggers do it?
Time
01:44
We understand the value of the occasional glass of water.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Who is the most famous person you ever met?
Time
01:56
Chris Evans who, interestingly, lives just a few miles from my place.

Like to meet? I’d love to spend an hour or so in the pub with Richard O’Brien who, annoyingly, also lives just a few miles from my place. (I see him around from time to time, but I don’t want to be one of those nutbags who waves down celebrities in the street and invites them out for a drink.)

UPDATE – I sneaked past a couple of guards at the Highland Games in 1980 and got within spitting distance of the Queen. Sadly, this doen’t count, as I didn’t have the presence of mind to do any actual spitting while I was there.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: British summer or Australian winter?
Time
02:27
I’d take the British summer, winter and anything in between this climate can throw at me in preference to the uncomfortable extremes in Australia. OK, so the sky has more personality at sunset, but there are nights you can’t sleep and days when it’s not safe to go out between 9am and 2pm without 15+ sunblock. And a shirt. And a big hat. Under an asbestos-lined golf umbrella.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Which historical figure would have had the best weblog? What would have been on it?
Time
02:57

1. Martin Luther. Uncomfortable truths.

2. Benjamin Franklin. All kinds of loony/great/productive stuff

3. Oscar Wilde. At least twelve policemen. Every single day. Just waiting…

(This question’s from Paul Carr, who launched this awesome blog without telling me about it. It’ll probably go straight onto the navbar when I have sufficient wits about me to dig into code.)

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Do you play a musical instrument?
Time
03:31
No. I’ve tried to pick up a guitar a few times, but every time I do my hands transform into unwieldy claws. It’s not a pretty sight.

I used to play the trombone in the school band, but spent most of my time copying everyone else’s slide movements. To this day, music still looks like a foreign language to me.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: If you were offered a job working for Lego would you take it even if it meant moving to Denmark (or wherever the head office is)?
Time
03:58
Actually, they have a big office in Slough… but I’d probably move to Denmark before I’d move to Slough.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How many cups of coffee have you had so far, and how many do you think you will have had by 2pm tomorrow?
Time
04:29
I’m just about to have my first (I’ve been keeping it in reserve). Probably ‘lots,’ give or take ‘a few.’

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Date
20030727
FAQ: If you could invite anyone to your dinner party (dead or alive) who would it be and why?
Time
05:01
Jamie Oliver. Dead. I’d want to prop him up in the corner as a conversation piece – and to keep the flies away from the table.

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Date
20030727

Time
05:15
I’m finally starting to flag after 15+ hours in front of the screen. This isn’t helping matters.

I’ve just run out of questions again, too.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Which part of Australia are you from and why did you leave?
Time
05:42
Sydney.

My wife’s English, and we’d talked for a long time about living there for a bit then living here for a bit (when the time was right). The time was right one afternoon when we were living in the Blue Mountains and I’d just left a TV production job. To get any other job in the same industry, we’d have to move much closer to the city. So we moved here instead.

Apart from the growing social injustice and the extortionate cost of living, I quite like it here.

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Date
20030727

Time
06:02
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

The perfect choice for the empty fourth plinth is George Orwell.

UPDATE – Or maybe a great big American eagle that fires live ammunition out its arse at random intervals.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Why don’t you have an RSS feed?
Time
06:11
Because I’m old and I fear technology. (Actually, I’ve filed this under the never-never zone of an MT upgrade…)

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Date
20030727

Time
06:18
The sun’s coming up. It shouldn’t have bothered. It’s a grey and dreary day. Second wind should be kicking in any time now.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How do most people find Bloggerheads?
Time
06:25
Most new traffic comes from stuff like the M*A*S*H Quiz, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby (currently #23 in Google for ‘love song’).

There are also quite a few people who arrive by following credit or static links from other sites or weblogs.

About 20% of traffic comes in via searches for things like Tony Blair’s email address, mustard man, photoshopping, Star Wars, and how to make money by starting a porn site (see: The Porn Report).

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Date
20030727

Time
06:39
OK, on to more important matters. Cherie singing When I’m 64 – how did the experts rate her performance?

Actually, did you notice that on the day of the million-strong march in London, Tony was pictured jamming on an electric guitar?

I’m starting to detect a pattern here. In fact, the moment posters go up announcing a West End booking for these two I plan to start stocking up on canned food.

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Date
20030727

Time
07:01
Descriptive text that does this story justice? You’ll be lucky.

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Date
20030727

Time
07:24
Find out how to baptise someone in an emergency.

Book Mimeistry for your next function, and spread the gospel to your friends and co-workers through the international language of mime.

“…and here you can see Joshua trapped inside a box, much like we all feel trapped in this modern world. Now Joshua is walking against the winds of ignorance, and yes, yes, children I think we’re about to see something very special now – and there it is! Only three people in the world can perform this very difficult manoeuvre, but you can go home and tell your parents that today you saw ‘Jesus on a rubber cross’ performed before your very eyes.”

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Date
20030727

Time
07:28
I can’t slee-eep at ni-ight,

Keep seeing men all dressed in white.

And they won’t let my girlfriend talk to me…

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Date
20030727

Time
07:50
This A-Team in Star Wars strip hurts my brain, but I cannot look away.

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Date
20030727
The ‘Out of Order’ Project
Time
08:46
Can anyone tell me when the last episode of the latest series of friend was recorded? For instance, was it any time after this was cut loose in March?

Normally I wouldn’t jump on a shot as long as this but:

1. The timing seems to be on the money.

2. I’m feeling a rather strange right now.

3. Everything that happens or appears in shot is a sitcom happens or appears for a reason (e.g. it only ever snows when somebody gets snowed in – or when it’s Christmas) and the broken-down pinball machine wasn’t used or referenced at all. It just appeared prominently in shot. Eight times.

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Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:59
Two brilliantly subversive ideas for you to enjoy: Son of Napster and the Corporate Fallout Detector.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:15
Hm. Only 5 hours to go. I may just make it. I’d need some of the folks just waking up to send in some more bloody questions, though.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:35
Going shopping? See a wholesaler! An extra 20,000 pairs of Nikes never goes astray, and wouldn’t you just hate to wake up one morning and find yourself down to your last drum of Chlormadinone Acetate CP95? Buy now. Buy big!

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Date
20030727

Time
09:45
Try saying Christian Truckers Connection three times really fast, then read the story of the truck driver who thought Jesus was a sissy until a fateful meeting at a roadside diner. It’s Sunday morning. The third wave just kicked in.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:51
Remember now, it’s red poppies for those who suffered and died at war, and black poppies for those who suffered and died in involuntary government-backed zero-trace-evidence experimentation. Tinfoil beanies on, people!

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Date
20030727
FAQ: What’s your best cure for a hangover?
Time
10:05
Orange juice and Vegemite on toast (gentle on the stomach and gives a dual boost of easily digestible sugar and vitamin B12). Ask any Australian about this, and they will tell you that I speak the truth.

Then, you’ll need lots of cold, cold water. And a dark, dark room to hide in. And about 6 more hours of sleep.

Soaking your head in cold water (or using one of those ice packs you only ever see on TV) does wonders for a swollen brain. A toxin-driven hangover will require not one, but two showers. With a Full English Breakfast in between.

FACT: The worst place in the world to wake up with a tequila hangover is a tent in the middle of nowhere on a hot day.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Thanks for pointing me towards the spiffy Hanging Day blog. Which other blogs do you regularly read?
Time
10:23
If I read it every day, it’s on my nav bar. Apart from that, I just follow my nose.

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Date
20030727

Time
11:11
Are you Rapture Ready? You could be called to heaven at any time, so it pays to keep an eye on the news for signs of the end times. This way, you can make sure that you’re wearing clean underwear on high-risk days.

UPDATE – Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Little colour-code warning buttons just like the terror alert system (here’s a far superior version), but designed to inform the faithful of their likelood to be called home by Jesus on any given day. Run it deadpan, get a good list of sign ups, then cut loose with a code red telling them that the boss is here and they’d better start looking busy.

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Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:42
Take a look at George Bush desecrating the U.S. flag.

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Date
20030727

Time
12:05
Two hours to go, and Tom’s still kicking. That coffee I made myself at about 3 or 4 in the morning went cold as I was typing and surfing. I made do with a Red Bull instead.

So, here I am with the most indepth information and mindless perversion known to man at my fingertips. And I’m bored.

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Date
20030727

Time
12:39
“What’s that, Skip? Sonny’s trapped where?”

UPDATE – Cool, I see swirly bathroom-tile patterns when I close my eyes.

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Date
20030727

Time
13:02
One hour to go and – quite a bit later than everybody else – I finally discover Firda’s Will Your Survive the Blogathon? quiz. Apparently I stand a 70% chance of making it through the next hour.

Right now, I’m busy planning my approach.

My bed is cleared and there’s plenty of hot water available for a shower. I’ve just scoffed down a healthy (but not too heavy) lunch and I have one fresh question in my Inbox for the second-to-last post.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: What superpower would you like to have (and what would your super hero/villain name be)?
Time
13:24
Oh, nothing fancy – just simple telekinesis would do.

I don’t think I’d want to be able to juggle Boeings with my mind, just trigger the occasional traffic light. Erm, and perhaps a modest near-fatal cerebral embolism here and there when it’s called for.

What to call me? Well, ‘Sir’ might be a good start…

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Date
20030727
Blogathon 2003 – the Finish Line
Time
14:00
Well, it’s been a gas. I have no idea how ratted this is going to leave me tomorrow, so as my sign-off task, I’ve updated the navbars throughout the site to include Paul’s weblog, Hanging Day.

Thanks to all of my Blogathon sponsors and everybody who chipped in with questions and moral support. All in all we raised $164 for Amnesty International.

Probably the hardest I’ve worked for money in a very long time, but let us not forget that I stood defiantly before the clock and kept the ever-present threat of bedtime at bay for the duration.

Let us not overlook the many grand works of art that were unleashed upon the masses in this time.

Above all, let us not…

Ah, sod it.

Bedtime for me. Hometime for you.

‘night all!

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Date
20030728
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
08:50
Yes, I’m awake – and in surprisingly good shape. For those who missed them, here are the photoshops done for the Blogathon in chronological order. I’ll make a static collection when I have the time.

The 4007th Project:

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve

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Date
20030728

Time
08:59
Via Hanging Day we learn of Amy Vicker’s departure from The Mirror. Paul points out that the Mirror’s rebranding of the section (previously known as ‘Amy’s I’ – see it for the last time here) may hit trouble, given that ‘iBlog’ already exists as a registered trademark.

Me, I have other concerns. Amy copped a fair bit of stick online (due to The Mirror’s repeated acts of shameless content theft) but – to her credit – she did her best to defend the actions of her paper openly and honestly when interacting with online communities such as B3ta.com

But now Amy works for The Express (owned and operated by Richard Desmond the Pornographer). Will she still be able to interact openly online? Will she be allowed to? In fact, I’m left wondering if her technology section will be published online at all.

UPDATE – Almost forgot. Paul’s also got an excellent piece on the never-dwindling hopes of portals over at The Guardian this morning.

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Date
20030728
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:16
how-to-bow.com (link via ultimateinsult.net)

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Date
20030728
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
Blog Change Bot is a new monitoring service for AOL Instant Messenger users who want to know the moment when their favourite blogs are updated.

I also got an email during the Blogathon about a new tool that lets technological throwbacks like myself establish an RSS feed – but I lost the link when I was cleaning out the 156 spams I received over the weekend. There’s a pretty good guide to creating an RSS feed including some shortcut options here, but this (new?) service looked pretty spiffy. Could whoever sent it send it again, please? Thanks.

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Date
20030728

Time
09:28
There’s nothing wrong with a little aggregation here and there but do you really have to suck all the fun out of it?

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Date
20030728
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:31
Something screwy is going on with an article over at The Washington Post regarding restructuring in Iraq. There are quite a few links floating about as a result, but this one has the full poop.

Also, a predictable amount of outrage has seen a page featured a 9/11 video game chart well… until the webmaster wisely decided to remove the offending page, that is. Those curious to see what what on offer will still be able to catch the page text in Google’s cache for most of today.

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Date
20030728

Time
09:37
Man who drove parents’ car into lake faces littering charges.

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Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
09:41
Alien Hominid (via FunJunkie) is exceptionally bloodthirsty and quite fun, but if you want a brutally simple and addictive game, then take a bite out of the excellent !FISHY!

You’re a small fish. You have to avoid fish bigger than you, because they can and will eat you. However, you can (and will) eat fish that are smaller than you – and as you do, you get bigger and bigger and bigger…

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Date
20030728

Time
09:48
Welcome to the 21st Century:

‘Sesame Street’ for grown-ups to teach adults how to fill out forms, balance a checkbook, etc.

7-year-old Taiwanese boy receives treatment for porn addiction.

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Date
20030728

Time
09:51
For the first time ever, a court has applied traditional property protections to a domain name. We all know how the papers will report it, though… the domain name in question is sex.com

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Date
20030728
Been There, Done That
Time
09:53
Keyboard Porn? Sorry, Furniture Porn got there first years ago.

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Date
20030728

Time
10:04
Life is full of difficult choices.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:04
Prime Minister of Niger denies claims his nation tried to sell uranium to Iraq. He’s also challenged Tony Blair to prove otherwise.

I’m trying to line myself up as Alastair Campbell’s replacement, so here’s a freebie to get things rolling:

Tony, your best bet is to suddenly make the debate all about email scams.

UPDATE – Missing WMDs and Other Deceptions. Be warned that this article was written by a filthy, lying Ay-rab.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
10:09
A BBC has just come up with a great idea for a weekly run-down that’s going to run and run and run:

10 things we didn’t know this time last week

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Date
20030728

Time
10:11
Spam e-mailers say they can get around new Louisiana law. I honestly don’t think anything can be achieved by targeting these resilient and unrepentant asshats. Even if there are ironclad laws that make spamming illegal in the U.S., they’ll simply move offshore (it’s not as if they’re going to leave any friends behind or anything).

When local councils in Sydney were having problems with pole posters (a form of street spam put up illegally in the middle of the night to promote bands and DJs appearing at local pubs and clubs) they gave up on trying to catch the culprits in the act and instead prosecuted the people kind enough to put their name and address on the posters.

Spam needs a similar solution; the primary target should be the advertisers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
12:13
Get three workmates and start huddling around the keyboard – now! 4D Pong is here, people – and productivity will never be the same again.

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Date
20030728

Time
14:42
Time to blow the dust off the oldest obit on the shelf: Bob Hope has finally passed on.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Photoshopping
Time
18:09
No, I don’t think the lack of sleep has had a pronounced effect on me. Why do you ask?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
08:51
Well, as Paul notes, The Mirror’s iblog has launched, and with just the right shade of desperate neediness:

“I was going to say ‘Welcome to our GREAT new feature etc….’ But that’s for YOU to judge. E-mail this link www.mirror.co.uk/iblog to all your friends.”

(I do wish they wouldn’t SHOUT….)

Of course, this one is bigger and better, because it has not one writer but five; Steve, Ben, Neil, Kev and Naveed. Kind of like the 3am Girls, then. But with less friends.

You may want to pop over and watch the first car-crash of an entry (starts with plug for Orange, then moves swiftly on to cutting-edge news about Star Wars Kid and Islamic text divorces), but if you do, you’ll have to cut and paste the URL. If they want Google-juice from me, they’re going to have to earn it:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:04
Nothing says ‘advanced science’ quite like brains in a petri dish. Controlling robots on the other side of the planet, no less. The end days are upon us.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:06
Missing: 50 pound, 7 ft tall boy, with chef’s hat and big, round belly. He won’t get far; he left his shoes behind.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:10
Just found The Freak Test via The Ultimate Insult. Apparently I’m 58.5% freak. I scored extra points for starting my own religion and having people convert to it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:16
See Doc Oc on the poster for Spiderman II.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Oldies But Goodies
Time
09:17
Spaced Penguin is great stuff. My kids play it all the time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Telemarketers
Time
09:19
Telemarketers Sue Over Do-Not-Call List. They claim it will devastate the industry. Well, boo-effing-hoo.

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Date
20030729

Time
09:23
Vote #1 Georgy! She’s an underdog that’s, like, totally bitchin’!

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Date
20030729
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:24
The Pentagon is setting up a stock-market style system in which investors would bet on ‘terror attacks, assassinations and other events in the Middle East.’ Yes, you read that right.

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Date
20030729
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
I’m going to be exploring scraminals over the next few days. Do try to keep your trousers dry.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:01
A great collection of censored cartoons (via Ultimate Insult). The Amazing Formula guy is alo a great find. Go and see Scott for the linkage.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:04
Wedding recption ends in riot. It all started when a police officer spotted a 13-year-old girl drinking alcohol.

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Date
20030730
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
How do dinosaurs fit with the Bible?

“When God created the world, dinosaurs were one of His creations. God created all the animals… Like Adam, the bodies of the first dinosaurs were formed from the dust of the earth. Man and dinosaurs lived at the same time.”

All this and more available from christiananswers.net

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Date
20030730
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
Blake’s 7 set for hi-tech return. It just won’t be the same without wobbly sets and shoddy effects. Still, in these enlightened times, we can look forward to some serious man-nip action. Even Batman has rubber nipples these days.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:13
Parents: White Teacher Should Not Teach Black History

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Date
20030730

Time
09:16
Read a letter home from a 2nd lieutenant stationed north of Baghdad. The local insect population laughs at his meagre chemical controls, and people keep shooting at him.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:18
El Reg: Copying is Theft – and other legal myths.

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Date
20030730
Flash Thingies
Time
09:19
Your own personal liquid slave. Will follow your cursor anywhere. Make him wiggle for maximum enjoyment.

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Date
20030730
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:21
Well overdue, this one: Which Willy Wonka character are you?

It says that I’m Willy. That’s Mr Wonka to you….

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Date
20030730

Time
09:24
New research suggests that some cigarette brands are likely to be far more addictive than others.

On a semi-related topic, you may wish to drop by and see Elvis out of his mind of drugs.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:27
Al-Qaida May Be Planning More Hijackings, say US Officials. Now is this a genuine threat, or yet another cynical press release meant to keep us on our toes?

In other news, the Pentagon has abandoned its plan for a futures market based on terrorist activity. Well, that lasted all of 24 hours. Now we wait quietly for someone to start an unofficial version online.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:32
Sliced bread celebrates its 75th anniversary.

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Date
20030730
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
09:40
I’ve still got reliable incoming email, but outgoing remains a problem – so I’m going to have to deal with this on the blog:

The email sent out by the Blogathon chaps to sponsors is the wrong one. It sends you to the Amnesty International sign-up page.

The proper donation URL is:

http://www.amnesty.org.uk/support/donation.shtml

Thanks to Rich for the heads-up.

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Date
20030730
Photoshopping
Time
09:43
Another scraminal for you. Not as scary as yesterday’s, but it is unique in that it crows sometime around midday.

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Date
20030730
Flash Music Video
Time
12:55
JPEG Baby has just entered the top ten in Google for the single-word search query ‘JPEG’.



It’s still only #23 or thereabouts for ‘love song,’ but give it time…

UPDATE – Well shut mah mouth! JPEG Baby is now bouncing around up at 1st-4th place for ‘love song’ (depending on which version of Google you use).

(insert evil laugh here)

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Date
20030730
Flash Games
Time
16:17
Time to go harvesting children in the dark woods. All you’ve got are your wits, a flying broom, and a great big bubbling cauldron…

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Date
20030731

Time
08:52
Enjoy this collection of absurd patents from the UK and lesser colonies. My favourite is the horse-powered mini-bus.

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Date
20030731

Time
08:56
Florida smoking ban leads to tobacco-infused drink. No surprises there.

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Date
20030731

Time
08:57
Baptist church wishes to increase congregation diversification – offers to pay white people to attend.

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Date
20030731

Time
08:58
Texas redistricting explained for the average American. Pizza and donuts, anyone?

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Date
20030731

Time
09:01
Blood oozes out of apartment walls in western Indian city of Ahmedabad. It’s been formally identified as human blood by forensic experts, but no-one knows where its coming from. Could Monkey Man be to blame?

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Date
20030731

Time
09:03
What could be more useful that a shoe size – penis size conversion chart?

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Date
20030731

Time
09:04
Blowtorch-wielding bandit accidentally burns booty. Also, scroll down this brief list of fire reports for a story that really needs to be told.

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Date
20030731

Time
09:07
Oooh, look who else is calling something I-Blog. The Mirror’s wanna-blog is still a month or so behind the rest of the world, featuring as it does today Matrix-style ping pong. They also need to get over this unhealthy obsession with eBay. Still no Google-juice for them:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

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Date
20030731
A Reader Writes…
Time
09:24
stopabductions.com is a real website. It is about a real device and has

real case histories. The other website you mention on your site is a parody

of stopabductions.com It is demeaning and in poor taste.

See Michael Menkin’s new website, aliensandchildren.org for more information

and proof of alien abductions and the success of the thought screen helmet.

Michael Menkin

stopabductions.com

aliensandchildren.org

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Date
20030731

Time
09:28
A week without e-mail is more traumatic than moving house or getting divorced, say techies. Damn right. Being unable to reply is really starting to get my goat.

Chris, the donation link you need for the Blogathon is here. Please don’t send any money to me directly; I’d only spend it on beer.

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Date
20030731
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:33
Make your dog or cat the toughest moggie or doggie of the neighbourhood with the help of tattoo-a-pet.com! An individual tracking number is only $35, but for a little bit extra they may throw in a cool flaming skull or a picture of a naked lady.

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Date
20030731

Time
09:46
This page has been eaten by monsters.

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Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
11:01
More scraminals for you to enjoy.

You might want to put this image to one side until next Easter. In the meantime, it will just have to haunt your dreams…

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Date
20030731

Time
11:23
My wife brought some of these home yesterday. They are beyond cool:

Animal-shaped rubber bands!

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Date
20030731
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:58
What’s an RFID tag and why should you care? This post from Tom Watson is an excellent run-down of how he became aware of them them and why he’s decided to take action. Go Tom, go!

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Date
20030731
Updates
Time
15:42
Most of you are aware that I’m now focusing on business/e-commerce a lot more than I have been recently. I’ll be doing this work through Screen Pages Ltd. (they’re a smart bunch, they appreciate where I’m coming from and – even better – they’re less than 10 miles from my front door).

The Bloggerheads business section has enjoyed a long-overdue overhaul and now ties in neatly with this new relationship.

There is also new primary linkage above for the search engine seminar I’ll be giving in early September (as UKNM subscribers will no doubt be aware, I’ve been meaning to do one of these for over a year now).

In the coming days, my brand new Domokun Kettle (won at FunJunkie) will take pride of place in the office kitchen.

That is all.

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Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
17:03
All new! All fluffy! Not at all tainted by scandal! (And quite likely to drop by your house with a basket full of chocolate eggs.)

Seriously, how could you not love this face?