01-15 April, 2002

This entry was posted on
Monday, April 1st, 2002 at
4:25 pm and is filed
under Uncategorized.

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Date
20020401

Time
16:25
hehehe – I almost forgot what day it was…

(In case you missed it, the Open Directory Project dressed itself up as the Microsoft Directory Project, complete with a familiar paperclip chappie that popped up to ‘help’ with your query – tee-hee.)

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Date
20020402

Time
08:50
Enjoy some really crap cartoons from the 80’s and a lot of other funky stuff at weaintcool.com (and if all this does is whet your appetite, you’ll find a great deal more at yesterdayland.com).

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Date
20020402
Attention: Students and the Unemployed
Time
08:55
Get down to the mega-funky Bargain Hunt Boogie at diffusiononline.net

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Date
20020402

Time
08:59
Meet the dickheads who invented Spam. Surprise, surprise, they’re lowlife laywers.

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Date
20020402

Time
09:18
I’m pretty sure it will disappear sometime today or tomorrow, so drop by and get a copy of the Queen Mamagotchi game from the Viz downloads page while you can.

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Date
20020402
Weekend Spam Warriors
Time
09:21
I’ve noticed that, ever since November, there’s been a notable increase in Spam over the weekend. At lot of these seem to be one-off attempts to cash in on one affiliate deal or another (in other words, a complete waste of time by some loser who doesn’t know how these things work). I’m willing to bet that this is a symptom of the recession that isn’t really happening, as more and more people get desperate enough to try this at least once.

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Date
20020402
Latest Viral Agent
Time
09:27
What a fucking joke! You may remember back in March I commented on the Pot Noodle people’s complete failure to translate their w-w-w-wacky ‘Not Poodle’ campaign to the web in any way, shape or form. Now some genius seems to think that everybody is going to flock to www.notpoodlequiz.co.uk to download an .exe file quiz. No, I didn’t link to the URL – and with good reason. The only thing hosted there is the aforementioned .exe file. I say again: what a fucking joke.

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Date
20020402
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
10:18
OK, but I likes this one:

Which Lego character are you?

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Date
20020402

Time
11:43
Need a new mouse? Check this one out.

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Date
20020402

Time
12:35
AOL have discovered blogs! Run for the hills!

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Date
20020402

Time
12:36
An interesting article on fair use.

Hell, it’s better than mine.

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Date
20020402

Time
12:39
A good photshopping thread at fark today, this time at the expense of Craig Barrett, Intel CEO and President.

A simple yet fun challenge, this one.

Enjoy. Vote. Wipe hands on pants.

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Date
20020402

Time
12:58
Quite a handfull, this list:

Celebrity Bra Sizes.

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Date
20020402

Time
14:25
Two escaped asylum seekers on the run from the authorities in Australia mistakenly hitched a ride from an unmarked police bus. At least they weren’t attacked by a naked carjacker (or thrown over the side).

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Date
20020403

Time
09:11
A nice way to say: ‘take this and stick it where the sun don’t shine‘.

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Date
20020403

Time
09:12
Secrets behind Google and how it works.

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Date
20020403

Time
09:15
Play a fun shell game with President Bush

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Date
20020403

Time
09:16
This Ali G competition lets you rap along to the new single ‘Me Julie’ (cool!). The prize is a shirt (amazing!). Calls to the Premium Rate telephone line cost £1.00 per minute (take this and stick it where the sun don’t shine!).

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Date
20020403

Time
09:20
Sign the World Cup Flag for England and become as unique as a million other people.

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Date
20020403

Time
10:34
A year later, and that former Hooters waitress still hasn’t got her promised ‘Toyota‘.

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Date
20020403

Time
12:07
Simon Fuller speaks.

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Date
20020403

Time
13:07
Here’s one I missed on Jesus Week: the Christian Wrestling Federation.

Praise the Lord! Pass the body oil!

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Date
20020403
Blimey! That Didn’t Take Long!
Time
13:17
Overheard in Usenet:

The Queen Mum arrives at the Royal Pearly Gates and sees Diana wearing a halo.

“Hello Diana” says the QM, “When does one get a halo like yours?”.

“Piss off granny”, says Diana, “It’s a f***g steering-wheel”.

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Date
20020403

Time
14:17
A fine collection of corporate anthems for you to enjoy.

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Date
20020403
Photoshopping
Time
14:50
It’s the invasion of the Bloody Big Original today over at Fark, but what the hell – at least I’m winning…

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Date
20020403

Time
15:56
A driver who admitted having the highest alcohol reading in Scottish legal history was released on bail to celebrate his birthday.

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Date
20020403
Recycling
Time
16:16
The soon-to-be-launched worldcupatwork.co.uk plans to offer an informational interface for office workers who wish to keep up to date with the World Cup. Their USP? A panic button:

“With a simple click of a button you can hide away the world cup site you are viewing from prying eyes, and appear to be working on some proper work in one of the variety of different interfaces available including Word, Excel, and Photoshop.”

Yawn….

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Date
20020403

Time
16:33
Seriously, what kind of sicko would want one of these in the corner of their living room?

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Date
20020404

Time
09:06
Yep, there it is in black and white. You can build anything with Flash. Of course, before attempting anything this serious, you might also need these tips on how to be a web designer.

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Date
20020404

Time
09:21
My good friend from The Ultimate Insult is about to become a daddy!

Be afraid…

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Date
20020404
Giving More Than 100%
Time
09:44
I just got one of those silly-type emails from my sister, but this one bears repeating, so here goes:

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

Here’s a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes 100%?

If, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then,

H A R D W O R K is

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11= 98%

and

K N O W L E D G E is

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E is

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

and,

B U L L S H I T is

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top!

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Date
20020404

Time
11:14
Hoorah! They cured Bubble Boy.

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Date
20020404

Time
11:49
Firda has a new look. All that money must be going to her head.

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Date
20020404

Time
12:01
Purchase a Pet Penny, erm, for a dollar. Yes, I do believe they’re serious…

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Date
20020404

Time
12:07
Damn it, this was the most satisfying experience of of my day. See Toast Fiction and the classic web site that inspired it. Call me a pyromaniac if you like, but nothing, and I mean nothing beats watching stuff burn (except maybe nuking cockroaches in the microwave).

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Date
20020404
Blowing Stuff Up
Time
14:34
Toast Fiction has me going now. So far I’ve dug up some real classics, including a chap who wins awards and recognition by lighting grills with 3 gallons of liquid oxygen, an Aussie bloke I’d damn near forgotten about who made a supremely awesome Sparkler Bomb (you have to see that one), some tin fun, and the less awesome but still quite funny Twinkie Project.

My, what fun. It’s almost enough to make me forget about the lifetime scar I got from a burning PET bottle at age 14. Or the time a segment of copper bomb travelling at the velocity of a bullet missed my head by about an inch. Or the time…

OK, I’m sure you get the idea. Watch and learn, but DO NOT TRY AT HOME. Take it from someone who knows, this is dangerous stuff and the Gods are not always kind to the dumb, the stupid, and the drunk.

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Date
20020404
Photoshopping
Time
15:02
An 18-year-old man (man?) was sentenced to 30 days behind bars for superimposing a picture of his ex-girlfriend over the body of a nude woman and then posting the picture on the Internet.

The site itself is totalled, but there’s a cache of it in Google if you can be bothered to look for it. (He is a nutter, BTW – find the site and you’ll see what I mean…)

Smart chap that he is, he’s worn a hood while facing the press photographers, presumably to foil attempts to Photoshop his head onto the body of a naked chick.

Too bad they got a clear shot of him inside the court…

Cannot… resist.

Must… alter image!

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Date
20020404

Time
16:04
Seth Godin has a blog? I’m there.

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Date
20020405

Time
09:27
Following up on yesterday’s special about blowing stuff up etc., here are some consequences for you to ponder. Take my word for it, violent entertainment is dangerous. I won’t even subject you to the horrors of the Three Stooges ward.

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Date
20020405

Time
09:33
Liz Hurley had a boy. She didn’t give it a stupid name, either. OK, preparing for the DNA test in 5, 4, 3, 2….

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Date
20020405
I Miss Douglas Adams
Time
09:42
It was in 1989 that I first read Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. I was quite taken by the character’s navigational/investigative technique, described as follows:

“My own strategy is to find a car, or the nearest equivalent, which looks as if it knows where it’s going and follow it. I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often end up somewhere that I needed to be.”

(Douglas Adams, ‘Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency’)

I was about halfway through the book on the day when I was driving to a very unfamiliar part of town to collect a car part for my Holden Gemini (see a picture of one) from a wrecker’s yard. I was on the expressway towards this part of town when I realised that I didn’t have my UBD (street directory) with me.

‘Bugger’, I thought, as I approached the exit with no idea where to go after that…. until I realised that the truck directly in front of me had, amongst other things, a dented Holden Gemini door propped up in the back.

So I followed it.

It led me right to the wrecker’s district, of course – but the cool thing was that it pulled up right in front of the same wrecker’s yard I had called earlier that day. My part wasn’t exactly waiting for me – first it had to be unloaded from the truck I had just followed.

The man deserves sainthood for this small miracle alone. Grab a pencil and check if the gravity in your room still works. Peace of mind is a rare thing these days.

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Date
20020405

Time
11:30
Meet the rabbit who thinks your cursor is a carrot.

At least he doesn’t dress up like a woman and make me feel all funny inside.

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Date
20020405

Time
11:33
An excellent piece on street spam.

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Date
20020405

Time
13:04
Watch Michael Jackson change before your very eyes. Be amazed! Be astounded! Be very, very afraid.

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Date
20020405
Photoshopping
Time
15:46

I’ve been enjoying a good run over at Fark lately, but I know it won’t last.

<pun>

There’s always someone who’s quicker on the draw.

</pun>

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Date
20020405

Time
15:53
If you’re considering selling porn online, here’s something to chew on.

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Date
20020405

Time
17:59
Good news everybody! Enron was just the beginning!

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Date
20020408

Time
08:56
Have a safe trip!

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Date
20020408

Time
08:58
See some warning signs from around the world and the best of the fake ones from Fark.

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Date
20020408

Time
09:01
Build a pub in your back yard. Or a genuine, bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail.

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Date
20020408

Time
10:11
Michael Barrymore aims for an acting career in the States. He’s in with a chance if they need a good cameo for a remake of Sunset Boulevard.

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Date
20020408

Time
10:20
Penthouse is going broke. Could the advent of online porn be a factor? Perhaps. There’s no staples, for starters…

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Date
20020408
Photoshopping
Time
11:01
Get that authentic lightsaber effect for still or moving images.

(via the new but cool trialbyfire.tk blog)

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Date
20020408

Time
11:15
One man, 13,500 McDonalds outlets. Just keeping it down sounds like a challenge to me.

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Date
20020408

Time
11:42

I just couldn’t stop smiling when I watched this knockout music video of ‘Hooked On A Feeling’ with David Hasselhoff (click here if you have a slow connection).

It has ‘made for German television’ written all over it. Once you get to first big special effect or the tribal jumping bit, you’ll see what I mean.

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Date
20020408

Time
12:02
Can starring in a crap sitcom actually cause Parkinson’s disease? We can only hope.

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Date
20020408

Time
14:02
I’m only blogging this Which Monkee Are You? quiz because I turned out to be the coolest musician of all time – Michael Nesmith.

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Date
20020408
Queen Mum Latest
Time
14:30
This picture of a special gift left by a mourner is doing the rounds. Yes, it’s obvious – but still funny.

Right?

Right?

(I’ll just get me coat, then…)

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Date
20020408

Time
14:56
Overture are suing Google for nicking their ‘paid listings’ advertising model. What, just Google?

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Date
20020408

Time
15:26
Hoorah! We have something else to wait for now that the Charlotte Church Countdown is over.

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Date
20020409
Overlord (of the Evil variety)
Time
09:42
The secret to becoming an Evil Overlord and not letting secret agents, angry loners or meddling kids fuck it up for you.

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Date
20020409
Old Computer Programs
Time
09:44
Sometimes new isn’t always improved – that’s why oldversion.com archives a collection of the original (and some obviously think best) versions of popular computer programs.

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Date
20020409
Oligarchical Collectivism
Time
09:47
You can read all about it here (there’s also some other stuff involving a guy called Winston and fittingly enough, a character named O’Brien). The whole thing was written by a chap named Orwell.

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Date
20020409
The Occult
Time
09:48
The Occultopedia has more information than you can shake a handful of chicken guts at.

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Date
20020409
Open Directory Project
Time
09:50
The number (and quality) of editors has slipped lately. Do yourself and the web community a favour by joining up today.

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Date
20020409
Sem-O-phore
Time
09:55
This is the semaphore signal for the letter ‘O’. Just thought you might like to know. There’s a bunch of other letters we really don’t care about here.

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Date
20020409
Organs
Time
10:01
Sure, you could become an organ donor, but not everybody thinks it’s a good idea. Hell, you can even get an Organ Keeper Card if you want one. Still, if you don’t mind being carved up like so much meat, you might choose to leave your body to science – but wouldn’t it be far, far cooler to leave your body to art? That way, your friends and family could come and see you (and all of your lovely internal organs) in the local art gallery whenever they pleased.

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Date
20020409
Oh, the Humanity!
Time
10:04
Enjoy the worst movies on earth at ohthehumanity.com

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Date
20020409
O!
Time
10:05
See the letter ‘O’ (and a bunch of other far less interesting letters) as displayed by Mrs. Stubb’s Kindergarten class for their truly awesome Millennium Alphabet Project.

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Date
20020409
Ouch!
Time
10:08
Meet Ouchy The Clown, ‘your premier provider of adult clown services’. And before you ask – no, he doesn’t do children’s parties.

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Date
20020409
Orgasms
Time
10:17
The difference between the male and female variety.

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Date
20020409
Oscar The Grouch
Time
10:19
Oscar is on display at the Smithsonian Institute, which explains why he only pops up occasionally on Sesame Street.

(Hey, I had to slip a Sesame Street reference in somewhere!)

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Date
20020409

Time
15:37
Here I am in Oxford. I just saw a truck fall over on its side. Right in front of me. It doesn’t start with the letter ‘O’, but it did scare the fuck out of me, so I hope you don’t mind if I include it.

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Date
20020410

Time
09:30
A few people have emailed me with questions about yesterday’s overturned truck incident. Here are the answers:

Is the driver OK?

As they say in the stunt biz…Yes, he’s OK folks!

Are you OK?

I’m fine, thanks for asking – but I did have a shaky start to my meeting.

It didn’t start with ‘O’!

Well, yes, it did. Aside from the obvious use of the word ‘overturned’, what I neglected to mention was what I was saying as I desperately steered around the bloody thing:

“Oshitofuckochristoshitofuckomygodoshit!”

What the hell happened?

I was a few hundred yards from the office I was headed to when the articulated lorry on the roundabout ahead of me turned into an exit road and tipped over. He wasn’t going too fast, so maybe an uneven load had something to do with it. I was first ‘on the scene’ as they say (and damn near twisted an ankle getting there). The cabin had fallen over with the rest of the vehicle, passenger side down. I looked up to the driver’s seat, but he wasn’t there. “A-ha”, thinks I, “no seatbelt”. I looked down, but all I could see was debris. Then I saw a foot twitch. The truck wasn’t going too fast when it tipped over, maybe 5 or 6 miles per hour – so basically, the guy had suffered an 8-foot fall to the other side of the cab and the impact caused every glove compartment, map holder and cup holder to empty its content over him.

His foot was against the cracked windscreen, so (and by now there were five of us there, one calling ‘999’) we decided not to break the glass to gain entry. Someone climbed on top of the cab and got in through the driver’s side door. By the time the driver came to, shaken but OK, there was someone right next to him and over a dozen people staring at him through the glass like some kind of exotic fish. And there was he literally swimming in his possessions.

I won’t close with a lecture about road safety, but I will say this:

He’s damn lucky that he stowed his pornography carefully.

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Date
20020410

Time
09:41
Check out Star Wars: Designer Edition. He has a point. If there were a Star Wars movie made in the early 90’s, I’m firmly convinced that every piece of technology would have been beige. If this site does inspire you, then maybe you’d like to start out small by building your own lightsaber. Just be careful, that’s all I ask!

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Date
20020410

Time
09:51
Hmm, why does company called ‘Beige Design‘ have a blue website?

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Date
20020410

Time
09:55
Just when I thought no venture could be bigger or more impressive than the Internet Archive, something came along this morning that Blew. My. Mind. The new site nurseryphotos.com allows you to search a database of over 172 million photos from hospitals all over the western world, some entries dating back as far as 1904.

I didn’t believe it myself, but took the time to do a quick search anyway and yes, my picture was there. Incredible, simply incredible.

You have to try it for yourself.

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Date
20020410

Time
10:25
Some things in life are bad,

They can really make you mad.

Other things just make you swear and curse.

When you’re chewing on life’s gristle,

Don’t grumble, give a whistle!

And this’ll,

Help things turn out for the best…

And…

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Date
20020410
Office Tip #364
Time
12:11
Don’t leave your chewing gum out on the desk, or everybody will ask for a piece.

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Date
20020410

Time
12:21
A cool collection of songs from The Simpsons. I own a couple of Simpsons CDs, so I already know most of these by heart. My personal favourite is I’m Checkin’ In from The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson. Not an episode you’re likely to see for a while, given that most of the action takes place in the World Trade Centre. Khlav Kalesh, anyone?

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Date
20020410

Time
12:36
You may remember the images of Christ looking over your shoulder from Jesus Week. Here are some slightly altered versions from sortakinda.com that will amuse you.

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Date
20020410

Time
12:50
Somebody just plugged a flash version of the parody of Cat’s In The Cradle over at GoofyFun.com

The song is based mostly on an enduring urban legend and is really quite good – but damn it, I’ve seen this before. Here’s one version and here’s the version I see most often. Until the bloke who actually wrote and perfomed the song stands up to be counted, these (mostly crappy) multiple rip-offs are going to continue. His name, BTW, is Aaron Wilburn – and I suspect that the reason he isn’t making a lot of noise about it is that he’s a nice Christian chap who prefers to turn the other cheek.

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Date
20020410
Photoshopping
Time
13:19
Art or Arse? makes a welcome return for 2002!

My entry is ready, but the email address they give on the site bounces! Scum!

Oh well, I suppose I must suffer for my art and wait until tomorrow to send this in:

Mustard Man

by Manic

Mustard Man is an installation piece formed of fibreglass-reinforced plaster, polyester resin, natural materials and American mustard. The piece is meant to emotively and realistically convey the daily trials of the modern-day proletarian to the upper-class literati.

Click here to see a large version.

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Date
20020411
Flash Games
Time
08:43
A fun game for your average gun-crazed homophobe – go on, get them before they get you!

(Yet another quality link from the notorious breeder @ ultimateinsult.net)

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Date
20020411

Time
08:46
Read about the Pizza Hut manager who robbed the bank next door and still got back to work in time to make the garlic bread for the lunchtime rush.

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Date
20020411

Time
08:50
The Brazilians have no sense of humour. Or irony. I heard about this on the radio the other day. Kind of childish and reactionary IMO, especially considering how well countries like Australia and Japan took Exactly. The. Same. Treatment. Also stupid in that The Simpsons makes fun of America Every. Single. Episode.

Anyways, here’s a discussion on the topic that popped up in a search this morning.

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Date
20020411

Time
09:01
Warning: This article is only amusing if you’re a weblogger. Just for the record, I was the first person to see the value in the domain name ‘warblog.com’. Too bad some cybersquatter now has it sitting on his dustpile.

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Date
20020411
Office Tip #365
Time
09:38
Beware! Stationery isn’t always stationary!

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Date
20020411

Time
09:40
Hooray! A deal is being hammered out for ‘Goldmember’. The way is clear for a cool title. Now only the movie itself will suck.

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Date
20020411
Flash Games
Time
09:52
Kill The Butterfly! Surprisingly difficult, but in the end very satisfying.

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Date
20020411
Flash Music Videos
Time
10:00
(of the crap variety)

Little Blue Dune Buggy.

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Date
20020411
Flash Games
Time
10:25
Oh boy, this is a cracker – and no, I didn’t go looking for it (see the other shag-and-shoot-em-up earlier in today’s blog). I just tripped over it while trying to find the source of traffic to bloggerheads from some German DJ site (if you’re here from that site, please do let me know where the link is).

Picture the scene: You’re Adam. You run around naked in the Garden of Eden trying to shag Eve (as you do), but for some reason you also have to deal with a chicken and a gorilla. Weird. Compelling. Challenging.

Play The Game!

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Date
20020411

Time
10:51
An even better article about the whole Brazil/Simpsons thing.

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Date
20020411
Corporate Killing
Time
10:55
If you didn’t see Mark Thomas on TV last night, then you really should read this. The ‘New’ Labour government (read: ‘Conservative Lite’) promised to reform the law on Involuntary Manslaughter in October 1997 – and to introduce a new offence of Corporate Killing, to make companies take health and safety issues more seriously. Surprise, surprise – two elections later and this promise still hasn’t been fulfilled.

OK, enough politics – back to the shagging!

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Date
20020411

Time
11:11
Britney looks set to appear in the next advert for ‘Chicken Tonight’.

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Date
20020411

Time
11:32
You’ll pardon me for not noticing this before (I see large notes so rarely these days), but Mrs Doubtfire appears on the Australian $50 note.

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Date
20020411

Time
11:47
Death to all gnomes! Hey, there’s even a flash game on this theme…

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Date
20020411

Time
12:06
Do not click here if you are in any way squeamish or currently eating your lunch.

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Date
20020411

Time
12:21
I was asked a day or so ago who I thought was doing it right on the web. My answer was ‘nobody’. I take it back. Somebody has, for the first time, actually succeeded. And hey, I can even take a little bit of the credit!

Tesco.com turns a profit.

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Date
20020411
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
13:07
My little Lego site just went live in Google’s database and is now enjoying some healthy traffic. I won’t bore you with the Lego-related results (which are relatively easy to achieve), but just look at these generic search results for some of the vehicles featured on the site. Given the site’s complete lack of link popularity (early days) and the sheer number of competing sites that focus on Star Wars and Star Trek, I’m sure you’ll agree that these are some pretty hefty results indeed. Too bad the site doesn’t make any money. Yet…

‘Imperial Shuttle‘ – Rank: 3

‘Imperial Star Destroyer‘ – Rank: 6

‘TIE Interceptor‘ – Rank: 7

‘Klingon Bird Of Prey‘ – Rank: 3

(Heh – I’m a web geek and a Lego geek. How sad does that make me?)

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Date
20020411

Time
13:41
Are you prone to Road Rage?

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Date
20020411

Time
14:14
The black hole of music. And no, I’m not talking about Pop Idol.

BTW, have you seen the ad for this travesty yet? My Dog, will they stop at nothing?

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Date
20020412

Time
09:12
Well, how about that – there’s an animal version of the crash test dummy.

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Date
20020412

Time
09:26
A collection of blank cassette tapes and (thankfully) empty air sickness bags. I know the second one is an old link, but they kind of go together, don’t you think?

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Date
20020412

Time
09:39
The U.S. is the prophesied Fourth Empire! We’re all going to die!

Best leave a note for the loved ones, then. Oh, and one for the milkman.

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Date
20020412

Time
09:55
Hey, I like Weird Al too – but there is a line, and this guy crossed it years ago.

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Date
20020412

Time
09:58
A woman was convicted Monday of helping her husband impregnate her teen-age daughter with a syringe. You’ll never guess which country this happened in…

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Date
20020412

Time
10:09
Damn it, I know I have a pair of 3D glasses somewhere in my desk.

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Date
20020412

Time
11:36
This is my weblog.

There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My weblog is my best friend.

It is my life.

I must master it, as I must master my life.

Without me my weblog is useless.

Without my weblog, I am useless.

Heh – can you guess what movie I watched last night?

In case you’re from another planet, or have dismissed this film as ‘just another war movie’, you can read the summary here or ruin the movie before you see it by reading the entire script here.

Those of you who do know what I’m talking about might enjoy this Sgt. Hartman soundboard, or a visit to Gunnery SGT. R. Lee Ermey’s official site.

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Date
20020412

Time
12:27
Wow, that caught me by surprise first time around. Google has a new feature that automatically refreshes your search if you (1) spell one or two words incorrectly and (2) that ‘incorrect’ search produces no results. Reliance on this can only add to my web-induced dyslexia, but what the hey.

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Date
20020412
Flash Games
Time
12:31
Are you a happy God or a vengeful God? Hmm. Only mildly amusing, primarily due to a lack of sound.

Playing with the world’s biggest magnifying glass is much more fun.

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Date
20020412

Time
14:34
Make your own Mr Man (you’ll need your speakers turned on to hear the instructions). Then, while you’re in the mood, go and learn your A-B-C’s.

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Date
20020412

Time
16:29
WARNING! If you laugh at this, you’ll go straight to hell.

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Date
20020412

Time
16:40
Get a free sample of dehydrated water.

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Date
20020412

Time
16:41
Alexander the Great had conquered almost the entire known world by the time he was my age. See what a waste you’ve made of your life by entering your age here and compare your accomplishments with folks who obviously have better things to do than visit my dumb weblog every day.