This entry was posted on
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021 at
10:41 am and is filed
under Karaoke.
I want to be clear that Patton Oswalt is to blame for this: he totally started it with this joke about Marjorie Taylor Greene’s belief in a Jewish conspiracy to ignite forest fires with an orbital laser.
Shit I’m gonna be muttering, “Jewish Space Laser” to the tune of “Paperback Writer” all weekend.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 29, 2021
The only way to get an ear-worm out of your head is to sing the song to its conclusion… so first, I had to write the song. And now here we are. Patton, please think about these things before you say words out loud on Twitter, please and thank you.
Lyrics below the fold.
LYRICS – ‘Jewish Space Laser’ by Tim Ireland
(Sung to ‘Paperback Writer’ by The Beatles)
(Jewish Space Laser)
In low Earth orbit
Is a satellite
It can start forest wildfires
Day or night
You don’t start fires with a Men-or-ah
Or the Ark of the Covenant
You have to use a Jewish Space Laser
Jewish Space Laser!
It’s a sci-fi chapter of The Protocols
And a sure-fire way for us to take control
They caught us interfering with election mail
So we lit up the candidates
We hit them with our blazing stargazer
Jewish Space Laser!
(Jewish Space Laser!)
In a thousand years, give or take a few
We’ll be taking over, yes we do mean you
We didn’t stutter, we just globalised
And the proof’s in orbit
You just have to see our Jewish Space Laser
Jewish Space Laser!
Beware of liars, they will take your rights
They will hijack democracy overnight
You don’t ignore right-wing coup attempts
Even if they’re crazy
And believe in things
like Jewish Space Lasers
Jewish Space Lasers!
Jewish Space Laser
(Donald Trump: loser!)
Jewish Space Laser
(Donald Trump: loser!)
Jewish Space Laser
(Donald Trump: loser!)
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