There’s a Safety Elephant in my Inbox!

At 5:28pm today, Charles Clarke showed me how serious he was about the hastily-announced consultation process (one can only wonder what brought *that* on) by actually asking me about my views on terrorism.

‘Leading’ doesn’t begin to describe this 4-question survey…. but I shan’t bother stamping my little feet about it because it’s late, I have a Guy to cover in hairspray, and Talk Politics already has it covered.

(I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that this is the same department that brought you public roadshows conducted in secret.)

UPDATE – More links can be found in comments and trackbacks, but I feel the need to highlight this, from Chicken Yoghurt: The debate on terror is a serious one and it needs adult contributions and a commitment to fair play and respect from all involved. Stunts like this do nothing but anger those able to see the fix, deceive those who aren’t, and seek to lend a credibility to Clarke and his legislation which they have neither earned nor deserve. Yet another sign of the contempt in which the public is held by New Labour.








Posted in The War on Stupid | 8 Comments

Secret prisons and forbidden words

Of course you already know about the CIA holding secret prisoners in secret prisons, but have you seen this outrage….?

Independent – EU promises inquiry into CIA’s ‘gulag’: Poland and Romania are at the centre of a row over human rights after the European Commission promised to investigate whether the two nations hosted secret jails for CIA interrogation of al-Qa’ida suspects. The claims provoked an angry reaction from European politicians and, if true, could delay Romania’s accession to the EU. The International Committee of the Red Cross said it had asked the United States about the allegations and requested access to the prisons, if they exist. The commission and the Council of Europe said they would try to establish if the claims were true. Human Rights Watch says the CIA used a secret detention centre to interrogate suspects outside the reach of US law and away from official oversight.

Did you spot the outrageous bit? You didn’t?!

Well, allow me to refer you to one of many right-wing commentators who are more than willing to steer you in the (ahem) Right direction:

This is blatant misuse of the word ‘gulag’!!!!

1. These are secret camps, so we don’t know if they exist. You cannot label something that does not exist.

2. If they do exist, we don’t know how big they are or how many prisoners they hold (the number needs to be around 20-30 million prisoners for you to be allowed to use the word ‘gulag’).

3. If they do exist, they are in Poland and/or Romania… this is nowhere *near* Siberia.

How typical it is of Europeans and liberal newspapers to conspire and misuse language in this way. Their strategically placed inverted commas fool no-one. For shame!








Posted in The War on Stupid | Comments Off on Secret prisons and forbidden words

Noted for record-keeping porpoises only

Ha! I just took a peek at my referral stats for yesterday and there’s a new search query at the top of the chart; ‘rebekah wade’

2,126* visitors in one afternoon, all seeking the same thing.

Hello, if this is you.

:o)

(*This figure does not include the 14 people seeking ‘rebekah wade nude’…)

UPDATE – Ahahahahahahahaha! By sheer coincidence, 14 page-loads can be attributed to the IP address 143.252.80.110 (which tracks back to News International). Hello if *this* is you.

The violence must end. We’re here to help.








Posted in Search Engine Optimisation | Comments Off on Noted for record-keeping porpoises only

And least nobody died this time

BBC – ‘Bad news buried’ claim Lib Dems: The government has been accused by the Liberal Democrats of using David Blunkett’s resignation as an opportunity to bury bad news. A report criticising the way police handle calls from the public had been scheduled for publication on Thursday. But it was released by the Home Office a few hours after the work and pensions secretary stepped down on Wednesday.

(via)








Posted in Tony 'King Blair | Comments Off on And least nobody died this time

Calling all victims of workplace violence

Rebekah Wade hits out!The following message is addressed (primarily) to all employees of the Sun and News Of The World. Please forward it to any relevant parties:

Rebekah Wade has shown her true colours. Not only is she a bully and a thug, she sees fit to abuse her editorial role in order to downplay the story. (If it were you in her place, she would throw you to the wolves without hesitation, and you know it.)

The pattern of behaviour is clear; perpetrators of domestic violence often laugh off their crimes as ‘silly fights that got out of hand’.

Even when evidence is there for all to see, the excuses begin; she walked into the door, the poor little mite fell down the stairs, he cut his lip while filming…

Domestic violence is not someone else’s business, it’s everyone’s business. Though it may start in the home, its impact extends to the workplace and our communities.

You may have seen or experienced this kind of thing before; arbitrary threats of dismissal, mental and physical intimidation… or worse.

If you or anyone you know has been threatened or physically beaten by Rebekah Wade, now is the perfect time to step forward and report her to the police:

1. Finally, the world knows that Rebekah Wade is a drunken thug. You need not be afraid that you will not be believed.

2. Monday the 7th of November is Ban Bullying At Work Day.

Editing a major tabloid requires strength and leadership, but an editor fails in this role – and as a human being – when they resort to violence or intimidation to get their way.

You have a right to defend yourself via legal recourse. You have a duty to protect future victims of violence and intimidation.

By bringing Rebekah Wade to justice, you can not only protect yourself and those around you, but also ensure that Rebekah gets the counselling and support she so badly needs.

It’s the only humane thing to do. It’s the only sensible thing to do:

Tower Hamlets Community Safety Unit: 020 7275 4750

Andrea Adams Trust helpline: 01273 704 900 (Mon-Fri 10am-4pm)








Posted in Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | 9 Comments

Books!

I’m going to play with this in the morning, yes I am. (Nice use of Blogger here, btw.)

Once you go to a profile and seek ‘Similar libraries’, you’re sure to work out why I might find it interesting.

:o)

(Ooh, look – it contains graphic novels. Why, I do believe I shall have a little play with it *now*.)








Posted in Teh Interwebs | Comments Off on Books!

Holy cow!

Sun newspaper editor Rebekah Wade has been arrested for allegedly assaulting her actor husband Ross Kemp!

(checks B3ta)

Ahahahahaha!

This is voodoo at work, people. Pay close attention.

UPDATE – Here’s mine.

UPDATE – (12:25pm) BBC reports that Rebekah Wade has been released without charge. Damn. More voodoo needed.

UPDATE – Did Mystic Meg see this coming? And why has no-one thought to ask yet?

UPDATE – Published in the latest issue of Popbitch: Why did Rebekah Wade attack Ross Kemp? Presumably for a bedroom indiscretion, but did she really stab him? And what was the gender of the third party?

UPDATE – Spotted by GuidoPress Gazette: It is believed that Wade and Kemp had been out last night commiserating with sacked Home Secretary David Blunkett.

UPDATE – Guradian: The pair, who often dine at exclusive London restaurant The Ivy, have a coterie of famous friends including David Blunkett, the work and pensions secretary who resigned yesterday, and Guy Black, the Tories’ press secretary and former director of the Press Complaints Commission, and his partner Mark Bolland, Prince Charles’ former adviser.

Enough gossip! I want to know the facts!

THE PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW THE FACTS!

Domestic violence must end. I plan to invent a campaign by tomorrow morning, but if I fail in this task (or you think you have a superior idea) then be my guest. You will have my full support.

(What? Do you want me to do *everything*? I’m busy here!)








Posted in Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | 2 Comments

Stop! … Voodoo time!

'Please consign me to the cleansing flames!'Reuters – Blair under fire after “day from hell”: Prime Minister Tony Blair was under pressure to reassert his authority on Thursday after he suffered one of the worst days in his eight years in office. Nearly six months after comfortably winning a third successive election, Blair faced a barrage of front pages saying his authority had slumped during his “day from hell”.

BBC – Blair seeks Blunkett row closure: Tony Blair will try to move on from the resignation of his ally David Blunkett when his Cabinet meets on Thursday. Conservative leader Michael Howard said Mr Blunkett’s departure was part of a “haemorrhage” in Mr Blair’s authority. But the prime minister’s supporters say that is nonsense and Mr Blair will just get on with reforms to public services.

Why oh why oh why do I obsess over Iraq so? Well, let me tell you about one thing that stops me from drawing a line under it anytime soon…

The only people Blair can appoint or count on in the pursuit of his reforms have to have backed him over the war on Iraq then and continue to back him to this day. And anyone who can do that with a smile on their face is duplicitous, stupid or woefully misinformed. It’s no longer a case of the best man or woman for the job. Take a look at John Hutton’s position as one very clear example of this at work.

There’s no drawing a line under an issue when people are still dying and a greater crisis looms… or when that issue colours and shapes almost every other issue.

The only way to start to move forward is to draw a line under Tony Blair, and on that note I’d like to change the subject to that of voodoo.

As I carefully formed Tony Blair’s face from shreds of the Sun newspaper and later prepared to form the body using that same tabloid as stuffing, it occurred to me that a few extra items were required to make my voodoo strong.

For this reason, the following extras have been added to my Blair Guy (or are due to be added later).

some objects– Pot Pourri was mixed with the newspaper stuffing for that sweet, sweet smell of the farts that stream from his bottom, bathed in glorious sunlight.

– The suit itself is special… it’s a shoddy, showy silver number that I used to wear when I was a DJ. It’s quite audacious. I used to wonder why I kept it all these years… but I don’t any more.

– A broken watch has been placed in his breast pocket to represent his corruptibility… and his dodgy ticker*.

– Print-outs of every email Pete Broderick thought he had sent to Tony Blair that included his concerns about the Catholic Church (of which there are many) have been stuffed into Blair/Guy’s chest to represent the often-neglected religious aspect of Guy Fawkes night… and Tony Blair himself (oh, and as a sly nod to people who might think that I’m beginning to lose my mind).

– A liberal application of hairspray will be added late on Saturday to represent Blair’s Teflon coating

Feel free to suggest extras. We have the luxury of time.

Now don’t go away just yet, because I’m going to ask you to join me in a short voodoo ritual today.

Instructions follow…

Today is a very special day. It marks the beginning of the end for Tony Blair.

I ask you, the good people of Britain, to join me in a short voodoo ritual:

Step 1 – Write down Tony Blair’s full name – Anthony Charles Lynton Blair – on a piece of paper

Step 2 – Draw a line under it

… and then pass this short message on. Thank you.

a quite frankly shocking act of voodoo

(*At this point, two wonderful ideas occurred. I do love this project. ‘Cathartic’ doesn’t begin to describe it.)








Posted in Guy Fawkes Night, Tony 'King Blair | 2 Comments

Blunkett goes… again – Page 3 girl weeps… again

Blunkett - Take 2That’s twice Blunkett has had to resign… and twice that his departure has been lamented by the ever-faithful Page 3 girls.

Here’s what Katie (19, from Liverpool) had to say on Dec 15 2004: “I think it’s terrible that a man who has done so much for the country has felt it necessary to leave public office. Blunkett was one of the few Home Secretaries prepared to get tough on issues that matter to ordinary people – asylum, terrorism and law and order.”

Today, the only difference is Rebekah Wade’s recent design order that places more contentious views away from the model’s face:

Danni (18, from Coventry) said she was sorry to see David Blunkett resign. She adds: “There is no denying David’s ability as a Cabinet minister. It was a typical gesture of him to resign for the sake of his Cabinet colleagues. But in doing so the Government is a poorer place.”

As the BBC points out; for many papers, the real story behind David Blunkett’s resignation is its consequences for Tony Blair.

One vote, folks; one vote.

Plus a dramatic climb-down on the 90 day detention demand.

It’s almost enough to give one hope…

Incidentally, the original script for Not Over By A Long Shot called for a final shot of a Partridge-like bus driving away to reveal a sign that read: Caution: lame duck driving…. but I went with the ‘walking dead’ thing instead.

Given that he’s survived since the summer of 2004 (when his premiership *should* have ended) I think it’s fair to say that the man is a little more resilient than a wounded duck.








Posted in Page 3 - News in Briefs | 1 Comment

My, my… don’t we look relaxed?

Blair is built, and only requires a few finishing touches. On Saturday, he burns.








Posted in Guy Fawkes Night, Tony 'King Blair | 5 Comments